Speaking of Guido arrogance, we now get a Joe interview in which he (wearing that stupid floppy "Team Guido" safari fishing hat that makes the Hating-Hats look like strokes of fashion brilliance worthy of the cover of, well, Esquire) explains that he and Bill aren't leaving until a lot later than the other teams. This is the Day Of Looking Terrible In Your Interview, because Joe looks kinda weird, too. I mean, he looks like himself, but his eyes look strange and wiggy, like he's had forty cups of coffee, a gallon of Jolt, three No-Doz pills, and an electric shock directly to the brain. He admits that Team Guido has "made some flaws" [sic] but that they're "not fatal flaws." He's sure they can still win. I'm sure you're shocked, as am I. What happened to the Guidos' humility? Ohhh, that's right. They had it surgically removed, and they have it in a jar back at the house. (It's a baby food jar. It wasn't all that big in the first place.) Guido the dog is looking after it while they're gone.
Danza has gotten itself a ride in a real car, so Frank and Margarita seem to be going a lot faster than Esquire in the Putt-Putt-Mobile. In fact, the Putt-Putt-Mobile has now stopped to get gas. "Ah, the delays of local travel," Rob says, irritated by the Transportation Curse. "Five hundred miles to the gallon," Brennan gripes, "but of course he needs gas now." Somewhere, Un-Tipped New York Cabbie lights another candle and continues chanting over a potion of goat's milk and crushed spiders. When the driver returns and revs the Putt-Putt-Mobile (to the degree that it can be revved -- it sounds pretty weenie, like a seventh-grader blowing his nose), Rob is enthusiastic. "Yeah, rr-rrrr, Raile Beach," he says encouragingly. Whatever.
Danza speeds along. Esquire putt-putts. Danza speeding. Esquire putt-putting. Do you get it yet? Please say yes, because otherwise, we could be here for a while.
Esquire arrives at the place where they grab the Raile Beach boat. On the boat, Rob explains that they don't really care where Frank and Margarita are at this point, and that the more interesting question is whether Drew and Kevin will make it by the time the King closes for the day. Interestingly, I originally wrote "Rob hopes Drew and Kevin make it before the King closes for the day," but...Rob doesn't actually say that. Meanwhile, Frank gets to the Raile Beach boat, and although he tries to haggle, Margarita points out that the price is posted on a sign, so he relents and pays up. Now Frank and Margarita have another of their Adorable Scenes of Lurve, in which she splashes him with water and they smooch. He also says, "Don't ever say I never took you anywhere." Snort.