Esquire. Brennan: "So now all we can do is sit back and hope and pray that we get there before other people." Rob: "This may be our swan song." Brennan: "We'll see. It's been fun." Rob would like you to think he's relatively resigned to, and okay with, his fate. He's not. Know how I know? Chomp chomp chomp chomp. Heh. As their cab speeds along, Rob says, "What really stinks is that our only hope might be that Emily and Nancy ran into trouble, and I hate hopin' for that." Aww.
Joe and Bill spot the hotel flag. I do believe that when he's encouraging Bill to get going, Joe says, "Let's rock." I don't think I even need to get into the humor inherent in that statement, because Bill and Joe haven't rocked in at least thirty years, and even then, it was probably to the Carpenters. They do the Pampers Run up the path to the hotel, and just as the sun is going down, they land on the mat. Welcome, Team Guido, you are Team Number Two. Bill now drops into a dramatic dead-faint on the ground, which I would probably find cute and funny coming from anyone else, and quite frankly, given the way the leg went, I don't blame him. However, since it's Bill, it is neither cute nor funny, but merely chaps my ass.
Esquire, approaching the hotel. They run (also like geeks) up to the mat. Welcome, Team Esquire, you are Team Number Three. The boys are shocked. "I don't believe it," Rob says. "I don't freaking believe it." They high-five, and Rob gives the big "Woo!" and then they double-high-five.
Right on their heels are Kevin and Drew. Welcome, Team Shower-Fresh, you are Team Number Four. "We'll take that," Kevin says plainly. "We'll take that." "Wow," Drew says. My sense is that all of the teams had so much trouble just getting from the market to the hotel that they didn't realize that everyone else had just as much trouble, so everybody from Esquire on down is just happy to hear they're not last.
Suspenseful shot of The Last Non-Eliminated Team approaching. Who is it? Is it Kenny? Is it Momily? We see only the inside of the cab as it pulls up. Cut to the hillside where the mat is, with the focus tight on a torch in the foreground. Two figures come up over the hill, completely out of focus. As they come closer, the focus pulls from the torch to the people, the music swells…Momily! Yaaaaay! Now THIS team SERIOUSLY thinks they're last. They go stand on the mat, prepared to meet Phil. Welcome, Momily, you are Team Number Five. This takes a minute to sink in. "Number five?" Em asks, and then gives an adorable girly scream, turning to her mom with her arms raised. She and her mom hug a little and try to catch their breath. "You're kidding, right?" Emily asks. "Oh, my God," Nancy says in disbelief. "I cried the whole way here." Gorgeous Momily smiles all around. "Pinch me!" Nancy says, and then grabs Emily in one last impetuous Mom hug. Aww. Everybody go call your mom.