A strolling Phil tells us that "the competition has gotten ugly," thus cementing his position as Captain Redundancy. He reminds us that there are six teams, and after tonight, there will only be five -- so this isn't another non-elimination leg, like we had last week. He gives the same yellow-flag speech that he gives every week, and this week he explains the idea of the Fast Forward, so you know somebody's going for it.
3:30 AM. Frank and Margarita, who failed to follow the clue in the last leg, are leaving first. (Just my personal opinion? Patently unfair -- it seemed last week that their entire advantage came from the rules violation, so letting them stay in front seems clearly wrong.) We start immediately today with a Detour, which is the one-of-two-options clue. (Usually, we get one clue they have to follow before the detour, but they appear to be shortening the process up this week for whatever reason.) The two choices are Glide and Ride. In "Glide," you have to go to a little airport and take a plane flight -- one team member in the regular little plane, and one in a glider towed by that plane and then set loose to drift down on its own once the planes are both in the air. The advantage is that once you've taken the flight, you get a free ride to the train station at Ferrara, which is the next destination. Adding a twist to this option, though, is the fact that there's only one glider, so if you do the Glide option, you may have to wait in line when you get there. In "Ride," you have to go to a bike shop and rent a bike, which you then ride to the train station yourself. (This means, of course, that both biking and navigating are potential pitfalls.)
4:01 AM. Team Guido, which also failed to follow the clue in the last leg, leaves next. (Again with the unfair -- I'm just saying.) As they read the clue, Bill voices over that he doesn't like unpredictable situations, and he's now dealing with them every day. He has a knot in his stomach. Boo hoo, Bert. Do the Pigeon, you'll feel better. He says he looks in the mirror every day and says, "This isn't you, at all." Well, if the way he's acting is actually not him, then at least he's got that going for him. As they review their options in the cab, Joe points out that "obviously, taking a glider ride is a lot more sexy and fun than, than doing this other thing." Do I really need to get into how much it makes my head hurt to hear Joe say that a glider ride is "sexy"? Joe whines about the fact that the glider is first-come, first-served, and Bill joins in. My, how could we solve such a dilemma? A team of such diabolical cleverness should be able to think of something, don't you think? Some way to try the glider and hedge against the first-come, first-served problem? Well, Joe and Bill can't figure out a way, so they opt for the bicycles.
Frank and Margarita in the Danzamobile, debating the choices. Bikes, planes, and then there's -- hey, our old friend, the Fast Forward pass! Phil Phills us in that this week, the FF is hidden at a castle in a moat. Frank and Margarita think the Fast Forward at this point sounds like a pretty good idea. Frank wants them to keep their position and maybe "make a move," but mainly, to no one's surprise, he is once again motivated by the fact that he hates everyone. "The rest of these people," he explains, "are getting on my nerves." He doesn't like the "nonsense," "competitive nature," "bitchin' and moanin' and cryin'," et cetera. (I would point out that we've seen plenty of all three of these from LPFrank over the course of the race thus far.) Of course, LPFrank hasn't taken the time to figure out whether anyone is particularly more responsible for the change in tone than anyone else; he's just decided to blame everyone equally. I'd be interested in the degree to which he would have remained above it all if he had been the one sabotaged by the Guidos. He practically put his fist through a wall back in the first episode when the Guidos were beating him fair and square, so I doubt he would be this Zen if he had been the target. But hey, why look at facts when you can just, well, bitch and moan? Ah, yes, here's the misanthropic LPFrank I know and dislike. We're right back where we started with him and his attitude, back when he was constantly sure that Esquire was secretly planning to screw him. He also claims that the other teams have "too much negative energy," which is downright laughable, considering how much time he's spending right this very minute BITCHING ABOUT THEM. He and Margarita camp out by the castle entrance, and Frank speaks some Italian, though opinions of its quality seem to differ. I certainly recognize what sounds like some Spanish in there.