Speaking of lost, Jordan and Jeff's cab driver assures them that they're only a few minutes away. But the view out the window is not encouraging, with towers looming over the street and hardly a single light visible in any window. They seem to be in the business district, in the middle of the night, on a weekend, during a recession, after a biological holocaust, expecting the Langoliers at any moment. "Either we're eating hamburgers or somebody's eating us on this dark road," Jeff snarks. He looks at the driver's GPS screen, which is not encouraging. "We are in he middle of nowhere," Jeff says as they take an exit marked "Ausfahrt." "We're done," Jordan declares fatalistically. But hey, look on the bright side: now you can say you've been to Ausfahrt!
After the ads, Jeff comes up a with a plan: "This dude's gotta get a grip on reality." The driver seems to finally figure out how to program his GPS, which he's clearly not had long enough to realize you can't always trust those things. Now they're heading back into Hamburg. "We should've just done the soccer thing," Jordan says, as though that would have made a difference. Jeff correctly points out, "This guy would have typed it in his GPS, we'd have ended up in Switzerland," displaying a geographical acumen I wouldn't have expected of him.
Edga is telling the Detectives about the local red light district they've just arrived in, locally, known as the Reeperbahn: "Pubs, discos, and sex shops." She points out the silver Beatles as they drive past them, and drops them off as close as she can. Now they have to take the long walk down what looks like the whole length of a German version of Bourbon Street before finding the big red "Indra" sign way at the end. Inside, Phil stands behind the mat with his arms folded while that tribute band plays, I guess because he's more of a Stones guy. The Not-Beatles are performing "Please, Mr. Postman," because the real Beatles weren't playing many original songs back in the day. And even if they had been, CBS spent so much money commissioning the Heroic Cowboy Theme (which is why we hear it five times a week) that there wasn't enough money left in the music budget to get the rights to a more thematically appropriate song like, say, "Here, There and Everywhere." I like the band, though. Non-Lennon sings with a German accent and his glasses are wrong, and Paul McCartnot plays his Hofner bass right-handed, but it's all just off enough to make it charming as opposed to creepy. Plus they can stop on a dime whenever a team jumps on the mat. The band's Paul steps off the bandstand to act as the greeter, and Louie announces that he's no longer a sheep but a wolf, even adding a howl. Phil tells them they're team number one, which thrills them so much that it spills onto Phil. Phil says they've each won a $5,000 Discover gift card, which is the ideal gift for people who hate to shop for presents but aren't quite tacky enough to just give cash. Louie interviews, "We made bad decisions in the beginning. We're not doing that any more." Okay, I'm happy for them, but they've won one leg, out of the four they said they'd have won by now. Let's wait and see if they can keep it up.