Amazing Race
We Have A Bad Elephant

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Bald ambition

Fast Forward. The hair is mostly gone now, and Joyce is basically done crying, and is now just looking sad. Uchenna shifts tactics. "You have a nice-shaped head, actually," he says. This makes her giggle -- just the unusual-compliment nature of it. He kisses her again. "I'm sorry, baby," he says, less tragically and more out of unadorned empathy. A large swath of her braided hair drops to the ground. "Ohhh, look at my hair!" she says. "You have a beautiful-shaped head," he says again. Now, they've reached the actual shaving, and she laughs. "It's a weird feeling," she says. "Oh, yeah, it's a weird feeling at first," he says, saying precisely the right thing by not only comforting her that it will get less strange, but stressing the bond they now have as shaved-head people. So good. She laughs again. "I have a big forehead like you now, honey." He laughs and repeats it. "Yeah, you have a big forehead like me now." He pauses. "You are beautiful," he says. Uchenna voices over: "It seemed like there was this blossoming happening with Joyce. The more her hair came off, she just got brave, and I was overwhelmed with pride."

He gives her another kiss and another "I love you, baby," and he says, firmly and happily and warmly and encouragingly, "That's good luck. That's all, that's what we need, is good luck." "Yeah," she says, a little tentatively, and then she rallies with, "Gratitude for good fortune. Thank you for the good fortune." As the guy rubs her head to clear away any little strays, she says, "It's gone now. Nothing I can do." "But you're beautiful," Uchenna says, and that could so easily be a pile of crap, and it so is not. "I swear, you look beautiful," he says. As she stands up, he leans over and puts their heads next to each other and looks right into the camera. "Yeah, we're bald together now." Hee hee. They get their clue and open it. It tells them to head for the pit stop at Jaswant Thada, which Phil describes as "a royal tomb in the city of Jodhpur." And the last team to check in may be eliminated. As they're leaving, Uchenna tells her again how beautiful she looks, and -- seriously. Seriously. It's not "she's so brave that she seems pretty." She looks gorgeous. She does. She has amazing features -- great big eyes and killer bone structure -- that can totally carry off a bald head. As they get into their car, she voices over that a lot of black women have gone bald and looked beautiful, and she catches her own reflection in the window. She ties her bandanna around her head again, and we see her in an interview saying, "My inner beauty will have to come out and shine." Dude. Inner, shminner. I won't deny that everyone looks best when they're being totally awesome, but that isn't even what this is. She looks stunning. She would be a stunning bald lady while lying to Congress, robbing a jewelry store, or kicking a cat. There are people who happen to be totally flattered by having no hair, and she got very lucky, because she totally is one. They head (heh) for the pit stop.

Kelly comes back around in her cart, and when she crosses the finish line, and she Ron get on their way. The clue sends them to the pit stop, about six and a half miles away. Again with the mat. They leave. As they go, Rob calls out, "Is it a pit stop? Is it a pit stop, Ron?" Ron and Kelly call back that it is. As Rob paces, waiting for Amber, Sanjay innocently says, "Where's your other person?" Snerk. "I'm waiting for her," Rob says. "Honey, that hurt my bottom so bad, but it's so much fun!" Kelly says. You know, when they hang the ball over the net like that, sometimes I don't even have the will to spike it. They leave.

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Amazing Race

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