Amazing Race
We Have A Bad Elephant

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Bald ambition

As Uchenna and Joyce head for the Fast Forward, she comments that she really hopes it isn't head-shaving. "That just freaks me out," she offers. Uchenna tells her he doesn't think that's what it is. Heh. Easy for him to say.

We are now at the Shri Kunji Bihariji Temple of Borrowed-Elephant Disposal. Ron and Kelly, followed by Rob and Amber, drop off their elephants -- next to, of course, the sign with the picture of the elephant and the word "Parking," as you do. Heh. Good one, prop guys. Ron and Kelly are the first to get the next clue, which tells the teams to go eight miles to the Deora Krishi Farm, where they'll hunt for another clue box. Rob and Amber get their clue, and just as Rob feared earlier, Sanjay is almost Fern-napped by Ron and Kelly, but Rob manages to snag him at the last minute.

Uchenna and Joyce make it to the general location of the Fast Forward, but it appears that the first temple they come upon is not the right one. The guy they meet tells them that there are actually a whole bunch of temples around, but they're ultimately able to extract directions to what they believe to be the right one. In their taxi, Uchenna explains that they headed for the wrong hill, and are now fairly sure they're getting themselves on the right track.

Lynn puts his arms in the air and waves them like he just don't care, a position I fully support, and then Lynn and Alex park their elephant and get their clue. Meredith and Gretchen, meanwhile, encounter Ron and Kelly's taxi coming the other way, away from the temple. Kelly spots Meredith, panting and miserable pushing the elephant and his wife, and she leans out of the taxi, yelling to people, "Help him! Help him!" That was pretty nice of her, actually. I mean, they're not piece-of-trash rednecks, so she can spare them some kindness, and that's a good thing. ["I kind of wish she'd been yelling that at Gretchen. Get down from the ellie and help your husband, lady, he's about to have a cardiac event." -- Sars] Lynn and Alex head away from the temple as well, as Kelly laments that she wishes Sanjay had come with them. When Lynn and Alex encounter Meredith and Gretchen's approaching elephant, Lynn yells out, "Run that elephant over! Oh, please, please, please!" Hey, there are a limited number of possible responses, and not everybody can go with "Help him! Help him!"

Now, Uchenna and Joyce make their way to another temple, but when Joyce only sees people inside praying, they conclude that this isn't the right one, either. This is turning into the slowest Fast Forward ever. We've given up "Fast" already, and we're barely going "Forward."

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Amazing Race

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