Amazing Race
We Just Won't Die, Like Roaches

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
The Beauty Of Coming In Last

Tyler and James watch an olive-pressing demonstration, and they're not surprised to find the *lyns right behind them, also getting started. Both teams start pushing the wheel around. Meanwhile, Rob and Kim are holding hands, in what they certainly believe is last place, and I dig that about them. The BQs are pissed off that they missed the turn. Dustin realizes that where they went wrong was in thinking they were going to, rather than toward, Ouarzazate. But the next team we see arrive at the ranch is actually the Pointies, who are mighty happy to be there. When the BQs finally arrive, they can't understand how everybody got there in such a hurry. They are particularly irked to see that there are already three teams working, and that the *lyns are here. "We Yielded them, and they're ahead of us," Dustin notes. That they are, lady. That they are. "This is it," Dustin says. She just barely doesn't grab the back of her head and move in slow motion.

Commercials. What has happened to the McConaughey? ["No idea, but I'm pretty sure if you look outside, you'll see him doing shirtless squat-thrusts on your front lawn." -- Joe R]

So the BQs are in trouble, and unhappy, and figuring out that driving past the Detour was a very bad mistake. Rob and Kim are actually cooperating with the olive pressing task. Tyler and James, who started first, are the first to be informed that their pressing is adequate, so they can start bagging up the paste. Not too long after, the *lyns get the same news. Both these teams are shoving olive paste into bags, which looks surprisingly gross. Tyler and James note that they have "a three-bag headstart" on the *lyns, and for some reason, that sounds like an enormous drug reference and makes me giggle inappropriately. I'm sorry, Tyler and James! I actually like you! As the *lyns pack paste, Karlyn comments that she feels "vindicated" that the BQs have to wait after Yielding her. Dustin looks over, puts on a face depicting every unpleasant person anyone ever knew in high school, and makes the little "talky" hand motion and she snottily chirps, "Smack, smack, smack." Oh, fuck, lady. Come on! Like you don't sit around shit-talking them? Like you didn't say "that's what you get for slow-walking," and laughing over other people's flat tires? You can say a lot of things, but "I hate people who talk smack" is not one of them. Be a grown-up! Own your shit-talking! Nothing bad will happen!

Predictably, Tyler and James are the first to finish, so they're on the way and the BQs immediately head for their station with their wheelbarrow of olives. "I've done wheelbarrows!" Dustin says eagerly. [Trash: "Oh, dump it, dump it, dump it, dump it, please dump it."] The A(AM!)s get the next clue first, and it directs them to drive 25 miles to the pit stop, which Phil explains is located after you find a marked boulder and turn "into the desert" in order to locate a "nomadic Berber camp." The A(AM!)s are out, but the *lyns are right behind them. Tyler gives good credit to the *lyns in the car, pointing out that he and James barely beat them, and so they're hoping to get to the pit stop first. The *lyns are just happy to be on the way with two teams trailing them. Karlyn hypothesizes that the Yield brought them luck. Heh.

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Amazing Race




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