Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | 786 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Curse You, Red Baron!

Jet and Cord are on their bikes again, which they prefer horses to. "You don't have to pedal a horse," Jet says, which explains a lot about the only time I ever tried to ride one. Dan and Jordan take off behind them, Jordan complaining that the starter's pistol has just rendered his deafening complete. "Do I look like Lance Armstrong? Or do I look like Lance Armstrong?" Jordan asks. Is there a third option? Carol and Brandy start off in fifth. Riding along, Brandy says waspishly, "You take spinning three days a week! You should be kicking ass at this!" Mildly, Carol says, "Thank you for that sweet tone." Meanwhile, Steve and Allie arrive for what is becoming their traditional second place finish.

Joe and Heidi are still struggling with the Morse code task as Brent and Caite open their clue in sixth place. "Head south down the road to receive your next clue," they read. An ominous music cue accompanies a shot of that directional signpost, as Brent says, "South on the road, right?" After walking for a bit with her shadow behind her -- which tells me right there she's facing west -- Caite tells Brent to figure out which way is south. "That's north," Brent says, consulting his watch compass. "This is south," he adds, turning ninety degrees. Not a good sign. As they trudge off, he says, "I wonder if they meant just south, like, as in a direction or just south as in, just go that direction." What would the difference be? And why couldn't it be south, the direction to go in, or even possibly the direction of south for to be of the taking? There are so many possible interpretations here.

Jet and Cord check in as Team number three, and are happy to have moved up a slot. I'm happy to have not heard the Heroic Cowboy Theme for an entire episode.

As they ride along, he-Jordan is explaining to Dan that every minute they're late to check in is another minute at the "pit start." Dan tells him to shut up all the way to the finish line. They are team number four. "Our pattern continues," Dan says, whatever that means.

Jordan and Jeff reach the battlefield parking lot, Jeff painfully aware that "If we don't pass somebody, we're out of this race." He says they have to do the Speed Bump first, and gives a little "Aw," at the cute picture of them on the Speed Bump sign. Way to find the bright side.

Amazing Race

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