Amazing Race

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M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
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Curse You, Red Baron!

Steve and Allie are leaving in second place, at 9:55 AM. Steve interviews that at 57, he's the oldest person left in the race. "Until I look in the mirror, I feel like I'm 25 years old." Then avoid mirrors at all costs. In their car, Steve quizzes Allie on what a baguette is. She answers, "a long piece of bread," and accuses him of not knowing what it is himself. Either way, he does now. I hope you enjoyed your weekly allotment of Steve and Allie.

Joe and Heidi are leaving in third place at 10:14. As Joe limps behind her across the chateau's yard, Heidi interviews about what sets them apart from the other teams, which is their unconditional love and patience for each other. Does she have it in for Carol and Brandy or what?

Jet and Cord leave at 10:36, and enjoy the crisp new $20 bill they find in the clue. "We were on the bus last night from Hamburg to here," Jet says. "Wherever here is." Then they turn in sync to look behind them, as though hoping to recognize some scenery from Inglourious Basterds or something. Reading the clue in the car, Cord wonders what a "bag-oo-ette" is, and Jet thinks it's a pastry. At this point, they're just hoping they'll get to eat it.

Carol and Brandy are leaving at 10:44, and after reading the French words in the clue, Carol wonders, "How many languages have we butchered?" Well, in the larger sense in which "we" equals "all Amazing Race teams collectively," that answer would have to be several thousand. Including, at the top of the list as the most frequent victim, English (not that this team is generally guilty of the latter, but you know what I mean). In a pre-departure interview, Brandy says it's them against the other teams, not them against each other. Yeah, she talks big.

Dan and Jordan leave at 10:57, in sixth place. And they're more excited than we've seen them all race to see that at last, they've been issued a car with an automatic transmission. Apparently, during their interview, someone has asked them why they keep finishing near the back of the pack. They interview that this is a marathon, not a sprint, so their goal is to not get eliminated. At least they've been successful in that thus far. In the car, Jordan hopes that with their allowance of twenty dollars, the baguette they're going to have to buy isn't too expensive.

Michael and Louie have reached the town, where they get out of their car and cross the street to the bakery. "Boulangerie Defontaine?" they ask the grizzled baker behind the counter. The camera zooms in on his chef's jacket, upon which is embroidered the name Gilles Defontaine. They get a baguette, and Michael asks for a clue. "Bon chance," is all Gilles will say. Michael cracks open the baguette, and there's a little clue in a plastic bag baked inside. It reads, "Find La Main de Massiges." Phil says they'll find their next clue there. Exiting the shop, Louie and Michael belatedly spot the sign over the door reading "Defontaine," and enjoy their baguette on the way to the car. Louie thinks they're going to a massage place, but Michael has his doubts. In a sense, they're both right; they will be worked over and receive a thorough pounding.

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Amazing Race

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