Amazing Race

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M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
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Curse You, Red Baron!

Michael and Louie's Morse code is a little rusty, so they're doing "Under Fire." They don't fail to notice that the bottom of the clue reads, "Caution: U-Turn Ahead!" They go into a tent to change into their uniforms, which Louie finds to be tight. I think we know who got the lion's share of that baguette. "Let's just get through that field, buddy," Michael says, looking pretty impressive in the uniform, wide-brimmed helmet, and assorted gear hanging from him in every possible way, and even a rifle in his hand. I assume it's a replica, or else there aren't enough time penalties in the world to prevent teams (and possibly even some partners) from taking each other out. They're off to the battlefield.

Heading into the village, Carol and Brandy are right behind the Cowboys, and Dan and Jordan are right behind them. "Five bucks says it's inside it," Jet says as they get their baguette in fourth place. Cord gives him his props. They try to open the little plastic clue-pouch in the car while Dan and Jordan get their clue in fifth, followed by Carol and Brandy in sixth, who, to compensate for their unimpressive ranking, at least have better French.

Brent and Caite get there next, in seventh place. "Yay, we get food," Caite says. They eat it in the car. "I'm really glad it doesn't have any crazy crap in it," she says. She'd just eat that crap out of it, though, as promised earlier.

Steve and Allie find the Detour clue box in second place, and decide to do the crawling. Joe and Heidi make the same call, despite Joe's bad knee. "When did you last study Morse code?" he asks Heidi as he limps along behind her to the costume tent. "Never," she admits.

So now the reenactment begins in earnest. Lots of reenactors look busy in the trenches, plus there's a dogfight going on overhead between a biplane and a familiar-looking Fokker D triplane of the kind made famous by one Manfred von Richthofen, otherwise known as the Red Baron to fans of Peanuts and frozen pizza. Louie and Michael look pretty overwhelmed by all this noisy, dirty, highly kinetic verisimilitude as they jog onto the scene, where patches of ground keep doing unnerving things like exploding. "Feel like I'm storming the beach at Normandy," Michael says. Louie coughs tiredly, and they dive under the wire, while the mayhem ramps up. "It's a lot like what we do as detectives," Louie claims in an interview. Dude, I am never going to Providence if that's true. "I think we're fighting the Germans, right?" Michael asks. "World War II, the French fighting the Germans," Louie "confirms."

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Amazing Race

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