Amazing Race

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M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
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Curse You, Red Baron!

Back at the battlefield, Steve and Allie get their pigeon to fly off in second place. They read their clue, just as an exhausted Joe and Heidi (or, put more accurately, Heidi and an exhausted Joe) emerge from the barbed wire maze. They're in third place -- for now.. Steve and Allie reach the U-Turn sign next, and are surprised to see that Joe and Heidi got dinged. "Someone got you," Steve tells them as they approach down the hill. Joe says he never expected this. Commercials. One might almost say he'd been humbled.

After the ads, Allie remarks that Michael and Louie were the only ones ahead of them, and Joe tells us that they think it was indeed the Detectives, "So we're gonna go ahead and do the Morse code." Of course they're trusting that it wasn't Steve and Allie who U-Turned them, but thinking otherwise would have required the father-daughter team to get some screen time, and we all know that's not about to happen. Heidi interviews that she thought Michael and Louie they were "nice cops," and that they had a good rapport with them. Aw, how charmingly tone-deaf. They go and find the entrance to the Morse code task, and Joe interviews that he can't wait to "give them some difficulties" when it's his turn. With that fiery vow, they enter the trenches.

Michael and Louie find the church, and the clue box outside. Phil narrates, "with the war behind them, teams will now pedal themselves to victory." He reminds us that the first Tour de France was in 1903, so in keeping with that, now the racers will wear put on "traditional riding gear" -- flannel pants and long-sleeved t-shirts, with helmets hidden by big poufy hats -- and ride antique bicycles, "built more than a hundred years ago." Of course, state of the art in 1903 looks a lot like my mom's bike. Phil describes the ride to the Pit Stop as a "challenging four-mile course," and admirably refrains from sneering, given how Phil himself rode his own bike on a challenging three-thousand mile course across the United States last year. Oh, and did I mention it's a ride to the Pit Stop? I guess after creating this whole big expensive backdrop for both Detours, there wasn't enough money left over for a Road Block. "The last team to check in here may be eliminated," Phil says. But for the third time in five weeks, they won't be. Then there's a little scene with Michael and Louie struggling to change, and Michael has to help Louie get his WWI pants off. Like I needed to see that. Then, after getting into costume again, they paste on little handlebar mustaches and go to the starting line, where they get started off with a real starters' pistol. Just what they needed to hear after getting shot at for an hour or so. Riding to the Pit Stop to the sounds of ragtime piano music, Michael says, "If we can get rid of Joe, that's a good day."

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Amazing Race

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