Amazing Race
We're Going Down The Wrong Side Of The Freeway…And The Lights Are Off!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 2 USERS: A+
Pains, trains, and automobiles

On the road, Tian and Jaree are just ahead of Millie and Chuck as they search for the flag. Millie and Chuck, meanwhile, note Kelly and Jon behind them, trying to pass. BuffJon tries to get their driver to pass Millie and Chuck. Chuck laments that, indeed, they're falling behind. "I know, Chuck," Millie says. "Please tell him to go faster." Much as Millie bugs me, I don't blame her for this comment, necessarily -- it's entirely possible she had already noticed that Chuck had better luck directing the driver than she did. As they drive alongside Jon and Kelly, Kelly says with something approaching surprise, "She does not like us! She won't even wave." "She doesn't even wave," Jon agrees, in a similar indignant tone. Oh, please. You don't have to be friends, but then don't be surprised when the people you detest aren't friendly to you either. "Wave," indeed. "What did you do to her? Did you say something to her or something?" Kelly wonders, which is what makes me think that as obnoxious as Kelly has been, she hasn't been obnoxious to Millie's face up to this point, so she's wondering how she got busted. She seems not to account for the fact that when you're talking shit as much as she does, there's always the risk that someone else entirely is going to tattle on you -- any one of a number of people could have let on to Millie what Kelly says about her when she's not around. Jon, dragging out the long-dead joke for another trip through the wringer, claims that all he did was call her "Moley-Moley-Moley-Moley Mooooooole." The joke moans in agony from overwork. Jon needs to shut up. Badly.

Al and ClownJon and Tian and Jaree all lament the difficulty of spotting the clue from a cab. Among other things, they feel like half the stuff they drive by is red and yellow. Of course, it's the age of McDonald's, so you'd think so.

Chip and Reichen are having an interesting driver experience, in that their guy is slow, but he seems to be good at wiggling in and out of traffic. He's also barefoot, so that's an interesting feature. I think you can trust any taxi driver who will let you inspect his toes.

David and Jeff are just beginning to wonder whether they've passed the clue, because they've been on the road for half an hour or so. That would be the hardest thing about this clue, I think -- you wouldn't have the comfort of even knowing if you'd missed it entirely. Just then, though, they spot the billboard and yell at the driver to pull over. He does, and as the cars honk at them, they run across the street to the clue box through traffic, all "woop woop woop!" like the Three Stooges. (Except that there are two of them, of course.) Ah, just another near-death experience on the highways of India. The route marker tells them that they need to get to a sports field in Alleppey, which Phil explains is a twenty-five-mile taxi ride from the billboard. The boys hop back in the cab and tell Money to hurry along to the sports field. They're following what I would call The Bulk Email Theory: Make Money Fast. (See? See? I would have been so much worse.)

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Amazing Race




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