Amazing Race
We're Going To Trade You For Food Now

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I Got A Cab At Zanzibar

The next morning at 4:30 AM, Danny is already sitting on a bench when Oswald walks up to him all, "Good morning, sir! What are you doing at this lonely dock this late at night?" Oswald snuggles up to Danny and says, "I come cheap." Oh, boy. Charla and Mirna come strolling up. "This is our corner," Oswald declares. "We work this bench." Heh. Get back down there by Esther Wilson where you belong! "We'll sleep on this bench," Mirna says petulantly. Marvelously, Oswald says to her, "No, there's no sleeping. You didn't get the joke." She rarely does, particularly when it's on her, as was pointed out to me this week. At 5:30 AM, the boat leaves in the very early morning light. "It's like the ancient time," Mirna says senselessly, and Oswald tells her, "We're going to trade you for food now." Ha! I think he'd trade her for a single granola bar at this point. Maybe even a single spoonful of granola. "Okay," Mirna says. "Can I have some of the food?" And she... still doesn't get the joke.

Johannesburg airport. Where, you will remember, some people still are. Now I hope there's a Starbucks and a place to take a shower. Eric and Pink stand in line before Teri and Ian get there, and there's some meaningless jockeying where they discuss "honoring the line," and it concludes, rather unsurprisingly, that because Eric and Pink were there first, they'll get to go first. For this, we wasted a scene? "Let us stand in line according to when we arrived." "Deal."

The second dhow leaves at 8:30 AM. Uchenna announces that for many people, this was the last time they saw home. He explains in an interview that during slavery, Zanzibar was one of the "gateways to Europe." And then he says to the BQs, "Five hundred years ago, they took the slaves this very same path, ladies. Now it's your turn." You know, the first part was okay, the history part. But this, "So you should spend some time thinking about that, ladies" business is just not necessary. It's condescending and accusatory, as if just by existing, they indict themselves as ignorant. He seems like such a nice person, but this is his absolute worst quality, this tendency to do that "let me give you one to grow on" thing. The BQs laugh uncomfortably, which beats rolling their eyes and making a jerk-off motion in the wake of a slavery reference.

Back to Johannesburg airport. Again. More. At South African Airways, Eric and Pink, Joe and Bill, and Teri and Ian are all waiting around to see if they can get on the flight to Dar Es Salaam at 9:55 AM. As it turns out, the only team that will be getting on standby is Eric and Pink, who may or may not be gaining some advantage from the fact that they were on "priority standby" from yesterday. It seems equally possible that they just got lucky. It's really not clear that much of anything that anybody did had much to do with where they wound up in this march of teams getting the hell out of Johannesburg; it really isn't. Ian wants to know if the ticket guy can "wave a magic wand" to get them on the flight, but alas, no wand is forthcoming. Naturally, Team Guido and Teri and Ian are very disheartened by this development.

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Amazing Race

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