Amazing Race
We're Not At Charm School Learning How To Be A Gentleman, We're Racing

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Miss Alli: A+ | Grade It Now!
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To sleep, perchance to scream

2:19 AM. Chuck and Millie. Millie's off-the-mat voice-over this week is about how she and Chuck handle the race in opposite ways, and her "aggressive nature" is irritating to him. She also introduces one of this week's themes, which is that they've been getting hardly any sleep since the beginning of the race, because they stay up at the pit stops and try to look at maps and books. Now, I understand taking a moment to figure out where the nearest airport is -- that seems smart. But beyond that, you don't know where the hell you're going. I understand reading a guidebook about Paris while you're flying to Paris, but at a pit stop? You have no idea what to plan for, so I don't see how it could possibly be worth it. It's also so sad to hear her say that they spend their time at pit stops "strategizing," and to know that unlike numerous past uses of this term, she actually means...strategizing. Sigh.

2:50 AM. David and Jeff. They fill us in that they're getting $130 for the leg, and they're off. David voices over that one of their issues as a team is that they're "impulsive," by which he means "a little dim," and that this is something they're trying to really work on. Good luck, fellas. Time is running out, and you're not getting any younger. Or, you know, brighter. It might be time to screw in the bulbs just a little tighter. In the cab, they ask their driver whether there's only one way to the hot springs, and he assures them that there is indeed only one way. If I were the boys, I would concentrate on executing the normal route correctly once or twice before trying to elevate my game by going for the Super-Wacky Shortcut. I'm telling you, they're running away with the title of Team Most Likely To Accidentally Show Up At My House. Considering how I like to pretend I only get the googly-mooglies for smart boys, I'm embarrassed to say they would be welcome.

In the Chipster cab, Reichen says that the race is now down to "every man for himself." I don't think he means this literally, as presumably you're still allowed to help your partner. Although it would have been funny if, at this point, he had opened the door of the cab and thrown Chip out onto the pavement, yelling, "Weren't expecting that, were you? It's every man for himself, baby!" Okay, maybe it wouldn't be "funny ha-ha," but it would certainly be noteworthy.

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Amazing Race

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