Amazing Race
We're Not At Charm School Learning How To Be A Gentleman, We're Racing

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Miss Alli: A+ | Grade It Now!
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To sleep, perchance to scream

As it turns out, the theme of the taxi ride to the hot springs is Bovine Evasion. We see several shots of cabs coming up on groups of cows just kind of hanging out in the road, which means that the cabs have to swerve around them or, in some cases, just wait for them to move. Apparently, the cows did not get the memo from the tourism bureau explaining that everything was to be done to make life as pleasant as possible for the American TV people. The cows are all, "Moooooo...Jerry whoooooo?"

3:36 AM. Kelly and BuffJon. Kelly interviews that they have learned a lot, including how to "negotiate" and "compromise." "We've learned the most important things in a relationship on this race." On the boat, they have a little smooch. When they get to the jetty and start negotiating with the cab driver, Jon gets bogged down in the bargaining, and Kelly eventually reminds him that everyone else is ahead of them, so they need to move it. They take off.

At 5:02 AM, the Chipsters pull up at the Poring Hot Springs. There's a gate, of course, and they're told that the gate won't be open until 6:30, so they've got an hour and a half or so to wait. Reichen now voices over that they asked the guy at the gate, and he said it wouldn't open until 6:30 -- which is exactly what we just saw. Man, I hate that. You don't need to build in that many redundancies on my account, fellas. It ain't NASA. Another car pulls in just behind them, carrying ClownJon and Al, and Chip throws a little salute. Chip voices over, as Millie and Chuck and David and Jeff pull up to the gate, that people are now "very standoffish" as they realize that it's getting down to the wire. I think it's safe to say that some of them are standoffish anyway, but I don't want to interfere with Chip's efforts at diplomacy, which have improved so much since the line-butting of yore. Millie wanders around in the early half-light and opens her mouth for a noisy yawn, at which point a rooster somewhere helpfully crows. Heh. That moment may have actually been self-editing, in which case someone owes the rooster a big fat check. They all stand tight against the gate, and David voices over that the only people not at the gate were Kelly and BuffJon.

Speaking of whom, in the Kelly/Jon cab, it's 6:26 AM. "Almost here," Jon says flatly. We see the other teams again waiting at the gate, and Jeff helpfully points out that there will be a footrace to the clue. Good thinking, "dude." And could you please retire the sleeveless white V-neck? I am not excited about that thing at all. The gate slides open, and everybody runs for it. Apparently, they had information that they'd be able to lose their packs inside the gate, because everybody runs over to the same spot and dumps their stuff. Millie and Chuck execute this maneuver with particular flair, losing their packs without even slowing down, really, and thus ending up in the lead as the teams head into the thick trees toward the route marker. Millie lucks out in that she's far enough ahead by the time they hit the rickety rope bridge that there aren't really other people sharing the bridge with her most of the way across, so she's able to run pretty much the whole thing. As soon as there are other people on the bridge, though, it's much more shaky, so everyone else who's more bunched up has to slow down considerably.

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Amazing Race

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