Amazing Race
We’re Not in Oklahoma No More

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | 73 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Chile in the Air

Brandon and Adam are "childhood friends from Chico, California." That must be in the redneck part of California, as we see the two bearded, hairy men riding through a rugged backwoods yard on a tandem bike, a unicycle and a minibike, before taking a bath together and showing off in a waterfall in while wearing Speedos. "You're damn right we're dead sexy," one of them says. I do enjoy people telling me I'm right, but I don't recall saying that.

Nicky and Kim are "major league baseball wives from the Midwest." Hey, don't give out too much info there, Phil, or people will be showing up at their door. They're married, respectively, to David DeJesus and Chris Getz, who are apparently major league baseball players. They say they've been friends for over four years, but they're not defined by baseball and they have so much to offer on their own. Their insecurities are going to enjoy looking at the caption "Baseball Wives" under their faces all season, then.

Jason and Amy are dating and from New England, and are cutesy as hell. Jason owns a snow removal company, and Amy says she's competitive enough to have graduated college at 16 and earned two masters degrees within five years. Does that mean they'll win the entire race in eight legs?

So there are your teams; I always love how the first episode of the season find me four pages in before anything even happens. Phil pushes dramatically through the batwing doors of the saloon to meet the racers as they line up on the street. He welcomes them to what he calls "the old wild west." He says, "In just a few minutes you will be leaving these dusty streets and traveling thousands of miles to the exotic coastline of South America. And when you get there, get ready for the ride of your life." Phil goes on to say that the team who wins this first leg will win one Express Pass for themselves, and another that they'll have to share with another team by the end of the fifth leg. "Winning this first leg could give you the power to determine who gets ahead and who gets left behind," he overstates. When he says go, they'll race to one of the "all-new Ford C-Max Energi plug-in hybrids and make a call to the other side of the world to receive your instructions." Which apparently you can do from a plug-in hybrid, especially if that hybrid's name sounds like it came from the other side of the world. He asks if they're all ready, which they all seem to be, though just once I'd like someone to say, "I didn't sleep so great last night, can we do this tomorrow?" Phil utters the usual benediction: "The world is waiting for you. Good luck, travel safeā€¦ Go!" They, as expected, go.

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Amazing Race

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