Amazing Race

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Light a Candle, Don't Curse the Dimness

Gary and Matt have found the parked Saunabuss, where they hop on board and waste no time getting naked. Thanks to the Amazing Editor who blurs what can't be more than a half-inch of Matt's crack. With towels around their waists, they enter the tiny sauna chamber at the back of the bus -- which is already occupied by three people -- and Gary launches a nonstop stream of chatter about his Finnish heritage. "You go into northern Minnesota, it's a sow-na," Matt interviews, using the less well-known but technically more accurate pronunciation. Wait, I thought they were from Montana? But again, I guess I'm once again underestimating the universality of living on a Montana farm, where they must have lived in northern Minnesota all the time.

Four racers are still wandering the catacombs of Mustpeade, but it's Flight Time who finds his room first. The door opens to reveal a vast ballroom that doesn't look like it would fit in what this building looks like from the outside. I guess the Brotherhood still has some secrets after all, among them TARDIS technology. Flight Time walks the half-mile to the guy standing next to the grand piano on the far side of the room, and gets his scroll as the dude sheaths his sword, as though if someone had come in with the wrong number on their candelabra he would have run them through. Apparently the racers are also supplied a bit of red wax or something, so Flight Time immediately starts scribbling on the scroll like he's trying to do an etching. Nooo! That's going to make it very hard to read. Cheyne, however, upon finding his gloomier, smaller room, starts right off by holding his scroll over the candle. Except he keeps tuning it over and over so fast, it's never going to get cooked properly.

In the Saunabuss, Gary is still prattling away, while Matt tries to play it cool about being seated next to a hot blonde in a towel. Gary insists on singing a song about saunas that he half-remembers in some Scandinavian language. The people in there are thinking, "Now, this is supposed to be a challenge-slash-penalty for whom, again?"

Ericka finds a cavernous ballroom like Flight Time's, although she goes the candle route right away. Flight Time, meanwhile, has finished covering the back of his scroll in red, and holds it up to the candle flame to try and read the etching he's still convinced should be there. "I don't see anything," he says, setting the scroll back down on the piano, where the camera zooms in on it to clearly reveal the words "PIKK HERMAN TOWER GARDEN." Not that Flight Time sees it. That's what makes these cameramen so Amazing.

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Amazing Race

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