Amazing Race
We've Really Burned Bridges, For Sure

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Stilt-ifying

7:44 AM. Shana and Jennifer. Shana tries to correct Jennifer that it's not the "Burkina Faso Airport," it's the Ouagadougou Airport, but she steps on her correcting a little bit when she insists that it's "oh-a-ga-DAH-go." She's been there a few days; that's kind of embarrassing. Jennifer, who looks really, really, really rough and is undoubtedly hiding under her bed because she was seen in this state on television, interviews that she and Shana "need to be a unified team." Jennifer needs to have a mirror with her when she puts on her lipstick, or she shouldn't put it on at all, is what I'm saying. She goes on to say that she feels "extremely guilty" about using the U-Turn. Because, apparently, trying to win is wrong. Wrong, I tell you! "I cannot intentionally hurt somebody or do something that I'm not 100 percent standing by." Okay, the second part lacks substance completely, but the first part of that sounds like she's saying that trying to beat people at the race is something that will "intentionally hurt somebody." By beating them, I guess. She is one weird pup.

7:59 AM. TK and Rachel. Coordinated green headwraps! She interviews that this is their first time "in the lower group," and until I figured out that she was referring to their race placement, I swear to God, I thought this was an incredibly awful euphemism for being in a poor country. It was very upsetting, but only for a second. TK says that the competition is tough, so they have to...you know, do better. He thought of that while listening to a Dylan record.

So Shana and Jennifer wind up at the same office with the bunch of other people who are hanging out near the airport, and Kynt fills them in that the flight leaving for Paris isn't taking off until 10:45 this evening. Meanwhile, Ron is too antsy to sit around, so he wants to go into town and see if the office is open. Apparently unhappy and maybe even a little angry that Ron doesn't automatically believe the lady in this building knows for sure when the Air France office in town opens, Jen throws Ron a bitchface. "Let them think that, then," Jen says meanly, snorting and throwing her hand in the air, like, "Idiots!" Jen is surprisingly protective of the reputations of the local Air France employees, considering that she's basically an awful person. TK and Rachel reach the spot, and there are way too many people there for them to get computer time, so they leave in search of another wired location.

Ron and Chris arrive at the Air France office, and indeed, it is open. Unfortunately, the lady inside doesn't speak hardly any English. Of course, they're not entitled to have her speak English here in Ouagadougou, but they're accustomed to expecting it. Chris explains what she needs. She tells the lady they need to go to Vilnius, and successfully says in French (per the subtitles) that they need to go "more quickly, more quickly." The agent shows them an itinerary for Paris to Prague, then Prague to Vilnius. The schedule gets them into Vilnius at 9:30 at night, which Ron classifies as "quite late." Chris is inclined to just book this, then go to Paris and look for something faster. But Ron resists, and as usual, he does it in a kind of contemptuous, dicky way guaranteed to work very well up until the point where it stops working and she stops visiting him in the home where he's going after his hernia falls out. Ron wants to stay here and figure it out now, so they do. He interviews that she's "naïve," and he wants to teach her how to deal with people. Rock on, there, Kofi Annan. Take her to diplomat school. They tell the agent that they need something faster, and Ron bugs Christina about even mentioning Air France, telling her that the agent is limiting them to Air France. Which may be true. Specifically, he says she's "fossilizing her mind" to Air France, and he's trying to get her past the "fossilization of just these carriers." So they encourage the lady to check the other airlines. And stop being so carbon-dated.

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Amazing Race

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