Amazing Race
What A Gaucho You Are

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Horses, horses, horses, horses

Lynn and Alex arrive at the ranch. They read the sign, which tells them that the place doesn't open until 6:30 AM, but it's already 6:00, so things aren't all that grim, bunching-wise. Meanwhile, Uchenna and Joyce are asking for directions at a gas station. Ron and Kelly are bickering about his inability to read Spanish, and the possibility of that negatively affecting his ability to navigate. Mostly, though, their bickering takes the form of slow chatter of that bored and bloodless sort that, as I've said, makes it seem at all times like they met five minutes ago. Not five minutes before the race; five minutes ago. I'm saying she picked him up along the side of the road. "Hi, I'm of the heartland. You look to be of the heartland also. Do you need a ride?"

Brian and Greg admire the beautiful mountains. And, undoubtedly, think of Megan and Heidi. And then they compliment the weather as the soundtrack sighs happily in the background.

At 6:30, to a surprisingly techno-sounding "mep-mep-mep-mep-NEEEH NEEEH" beat that makes me feel like I am watching the beginning of a cheerleading competition on ESPN2, the gates at the ranch open, and Lynn and Alex -- still the only ones there -- open the clue, which is a Roadblock saying, "Who's ready to horse around?" Phil explains that in this Roadblock, the person has to "participate in a traditional gaucho challenge." (I love how one horse behind Phil is sticking its head out, although it's hard to tell whether he wants to be chosen, wants not to be chosen, or just wants to be on TV. If there's one thing I hate, it's a famehorse. Rimshot!) As Phil explains it, the Roadblocker has to ride a horse around a set of barrels, and then spear a ring from a rope with a stick at the finish line. If they can do the whole thing in 40 seconds, which Phil tells us is "a competitive time for an Argentine cowboy," they'll get the clue. Now I ask you this: why would they be expected to do it at a competitive time for an Argentine cowboy? Does that mean that once they complete this Horseblock, they will be qualified to become Argentinean cowboys? Because it's not like I would have stopped racing at the lake because somebody was like, "How would you feel about a career in salt?" Or been tempted by life as a professional cheese-hauler. But I think finding out that I could remain in Argentina forever, working as a cowboy, would be mighty tempting. At any rate, Alex agrees to do the Horseblock. He thinks the helmets are pretty.

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Amazing Race

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