Amazing Race
What A Gaucho You Are

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Horses, horses, horses, horses

And here we are inside that very plane, where Alex is rolling his head around talking about how happy he is that Rob and Amber didn't make it. "Survive that," Lynn says, pulling out a line he has clearly been waiting days and days to use, because he had to wait for a time when Rob and Amber weren't...you know, kicking his ass. Which took a while. Sadly, he is about to learn that you always want to wait on your gloating until the doors have closed and you are in the air. Because otherwise, you risk...this. We cut to Rob and Amber walking out to the plane, as Rob talks about how pleased he is that they keep managing to jump up to the front in every leg. "Oh, I can't wait to see the look on their face!" Amber laughs, and on the one hand, she is being completely insufferable, but on the other hand, so are the people who hate her, and if you do view this as a game, as I think she does, then there's no question you would find this moment pretty damn funny. It's kind of like the way I try to think of Lex every time something like this happens. Oh, hello, memories of Lex. Stack of greenbacks...you betrayed your friends...ahhhh. Looks good on you, Inky.

Commercials. Does dishwashing detergent need bleach alternative? I think that's almost more bleach than my life requires. Except for when I watch stuff on Fox.

Mendoza airport. Rob and Amber step on the plane. "No. Freaking. Way," says a brother. "Ron, how's your stomach?" Rob asks. Ron doesn't answer. Kelly explains to us that Rob's strategy at the Roadblock worked, and it "makes [her] sick." Well, sure. Nobody likes to be outmaneuvered. And also? Kelly didn't eat anything, nor do I think she could have, so she can pipe right down. You'll notice that it's not the people who went through that meat-eating challenge who are so judgmental about Rob's decision not to do it -- it's their partners, who have no idea, among other things, how they're feeling physically or how unpleasant it was. You want to bet some of the eaters are thinking that if they had it to do over again and were confident, as Rob was, that they wouldn't be eliminated, they'd take the penalty? Because I suspect they are. Lynn goes on to talk in an interview about how if that were any other team, they would have been cheered and applauded, which, if true, only goes to show how insincere all of these buffoons actually are. Because unless you are actually stupid, you're not going to be happy to see another team make a flight with you. You're just not. It's like saying you would cheer for someone who drew a card that beat you at poker. You can do it, but you're probably a smoke-blowing hypocrite if you do. "I hate them," Alex interviews of Rob and Amber. And then Rob looks into the camera from his seat on the plane and says, "By the skin of our teeth." And then he actually chomps. See, I don't actually want to be friends with him, I don't think, but I totally want to be able to rent him occasionally, take him out for drinks, turn his mouth loose so he can take the piss out of everyone who's currently bugging the heck out of me, and then return him.

Ray and Deana arrive at the Horseblock. She takes it, and Ray wishes her luck, because he hasn't had cause to fire up any of the crazy quite yet.

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Amazing Race

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