Amazing Race
What If It Isn't Sanitary?

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Previously on Say Hay: As all the tourist brochures have been telling you for years, Sweden was the perfect place to count bears and skillets, and it remained the world capital of particleboard furniture. Other teams started to notice all the Spazpants screaming, and ran as fast as they could in the other direction. Kris and Jon didn't understand what there was to be all grumpy about, and they scooted into a tie for first place with a far grumpier Hayden and Aaron. But before anyone could get to the mat, they were forced to face down a harrowing Roadblock that was a lot like looking for a needle in a haystack. Because that's what it was, if you assume the needle was shaped like a clue envelope. Luck on the Roadblock ranged from good to wretched, and on the wretched end were Kristy and Lena, who spent eight hours in a field of hay without coming up with a single clue, and were Philiminated. Oh, the vagaries of Roadblock fortune and misfortune.

Credits. Fear Bolo's frowny-face! [BOMP.]

Water! Marching! Trains! We skim across Stockholm's harbor until we land on the Af Chapman, and then we find Phil strolling by the water. And he looks yummy, although that is the same green sweater from last week. It figures that the first decent sweater he's had in years would be destroyed as an attraction by way of total overkill. Just because I like it, Phil, doesn't mean you shouldn't change it. Team arrival footage is followed by opening patter, and although Phil doesn't actually say "eat, sleep, and mingle," we do get our first good E/S/M footage of the season, which actually consists mostly of teams smooching, as Phil reviews his questions of the week, which are, in order: (1) Will the front-runners remain in front? (2) Will the bottom-feeders get out of last place? Phil worries about these things on a regular basis, in case you haven't noticed.

2:04 AM. Hayden and Aaron, leaving in first place. They rip the clue, and Phil explains that they will have to go a couple of miles into town to get to the top of Town Hall Tower, where another clue awaits.

2:05 AM. Kris and Jon, just on the heels of Hayden and Aaron. As the four leave together, Hayden voices over that they've all decided to head to the tower as a group. They arrive at what is apparently the Stockholm Sheraton, where a guy points the way to the tower, which -- as you might expect -- is part of the City Hall. They then run into a couple of locals and ask them what time it opens. "Ten o'clock," they're told. And they're all like, "Oh, okay." Because locals would obviously know the hours of operation for race purposes, and besides, who really cares? What's a million dollars? These two teams, taking the information they've been given at something short of even face value, sit on a bench to ponder how sad it is to lose their entire lead. And because they're too weenie to wait outside the tower until it opens so they can be first in line (again, madness), they go inside the local Sheraton and hang out in the lounge, figuring they'll all just take a nice snooze and head over in the morning at 9:30 or so. You know how it is -- you have a croissant, you get some coffee, you amble. You enjoy the scenery, because hey -- that's why you're there.

3:06 AM. Almost an hour off the lead, here go Gus and Hera. He explains as they go that their philosophy is basically that whoever is going to lead leads, and then the other person tries not to get in the way. I can see that strategy working early on when everybody's still sharp, but I kind of think combining your brain power is important late in the game.

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Amazing Race

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