Tramel and Talicia, certain that they are eliminated, walk toward Phil. "The walk of shame is almost over," he says, and she chuckles. "You're team number ten," Phil tells them. They scream. And whoop. And jump around. And dance. It's actually really cute. Phil's smiling, but you can tell he's like, "Wow, whatever, weirdos." Talicia runs over and hugs Phil. Hey, hands off the host!

So now the soccer moms and the twins battle for survival. "We're not good at this game," a twin says. "The real break is if somebody else is more lost than we got," a mom says. A van pulls in between the red and yellow flags. We see the space between the pillars, and we know a team is about to come around the corner. And…it…is…Derek and Drew. So the bumbling non-hotties live to fight another day, which for the good of the show is probably an okay outcome, despite the fact that I thought seeing the young male buff Fine Young Dudes eliminated in the first episode would certainly be a refreshing change of pace. Derek and Drew tell Phil that they are "by far the worst at this game amongst all these people." And that was a little funny. There may be hope for them.

The moms come tearing up the path toward Phil, still hoping for the best. When they land on the mat, Phil tells them that they are Philiminated. They are sad, but say it's okay (doesn't everyone?). They talk about how proud they are, and how well they did. Somewhat strangely, they talk about how they wanted to do the race to prove to their kids that they can do anything. Phil looks bored as they prattle on. Adios, soccer moms. Say hello to your hooligans for me.

Executive Producer? Jerry Bruckheimer.

Note that in the bumper to commercial, we see Heather fall on her face again. Ah, good times.

Next week: Arianne proves that she's really cool and hip and happening by taking her top off, because women who "think inside the box" would never do that. Derek and Drew fight over who is prettier. Ian gets wet.