Cut to the teams, standing in a semicircle as Phil gives the final instructions. Thirteen legs, nine elimination points (in other words, they've lost one of the nonelimination legs by adding another team). You know, these teams have a lot of sparkly teeth. I mean, last year it was really just the one Tooth-alicious team, but this year? Oh, yeah. It's pretty much everybody. Aaron smirks inappropriately at the discussion of elimination points. Also, he is wearing yellow sunglasses. Shut up, Aaron. (Wow, and he's not even talking. He and I are not off to a good start at all.) Phil tells them they'll get a little money, which has to cover everything but plane tickets. Yes, Phil, we know! Let's go let's go let's go! The first clue, as always, is with the luggage. "Is everybody ready?" Phil asks. They all "woo!" in response. "The world is waiting for you. Good luck, travel safe. GO!"

It's so wrong how much I love this show.

One of the twins is out in front as everyone approaches the assembled backpacks. The clue tells them to get themselves to the Angel of Independence in Mexico City. You can only travel on one of three flights, and seats are first-come, first-served. They only get a hundred bucks for this leg. First step is to run to a fleet of SUVs, and the first to get there are the twins. One of the soccer moms racks herself running along the dirt road and pitches forward onto her knees. "Oh, jeez!" she exclaims. She must be carrying Bactine, though, if she's a real soccer mom. Backpacks are thrown into hatchbacks, and they're off. "Go, Zach! Follow those twins!" Flo urges. As the twins buckle up, I realize one of the things I think is weird about them. They look like David Duchovny, if his face were wider, and there were two of him. As Aaron and Arianne peel out, they yell "Wooo!" I have already had just about enough "woo!", and if you think about it, it's really, really early. In fact, we haven't even seen the…

Credits. Yeah, I'm not up to lyrics again. I was scraping against the bottom of the barrel by the end of last season. On the other hand, I don't want to waste the valuable real estate that the credits would otherwise occupy. You should do something valuable with yourself while we wait for the you-know-what at the end of the song. So here goes. The population of wading birds nesting in colonies in the southern Everglades is seven percent of what it was in the 1930s. The four figures at the corners of the Angel of Independence statue in Mexico City represent Peace, Justice, War, and Law. The angel had to be replaced at one point after an earthquake knocked her over. The literacy rate in Mexico is 89.2 percent. Pablo was the 339th most popular name in the United States in 1999. [BOMP.]