Amazing Race
What If Our Parachute Doesn't Open?

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A+
Once more, with feeling

Back in drunken, careening Mexico City, Aaron and Arianne (I cannot tell you how much I already hate typing that) think they've found the spot where Pablo should be. Andre and Damon are hot on their heels. But Aaron and Arianne find Pablo first, and the clue he hands them tells them to check in with Mexi-Mini Charters at the Hotel de Cortes. Phil Phil-overs that when they get to the hotel, they will have to sign up for seats on one of three charter buses leaving the next day, two hours apart. Four teams to a bus. Aaron starts walking around trying to ask where the Hotel de Cortes is, but he is actually asking where the Hotel de Cortes is from. Smooth one, there, Fourth Amigo. He eventually gets directions in spite of himself.

Andre and Damon find Pablo, followed by Flo and Zach. Michael and Kathy continue looking. Michael knows some Spanish, too. This is really interesting -- they've never had anywhere near this kind of foreign language skill spread so broadly across teams. Seems like a good thing. Aaron and Arianne, meanwhile, are first to the hotel, so they make it on the first bus. Aaron puts up his fists and says, "Yess!" Which of course makes me think of Guido Bill. Ah, where are all the worthwhile villains these days? Anyway, he voices over that their strategy is to "be a leader, not a follower." So their strategy is to be first. What very advanced critical thinking, coming up with that strategy. They are certainly getting their money's worth out of what I'm sure are their advanced educations.

Michael and Kathy find Pablo at last. They read the clue and take off. Bucking the trend of Spanish-speaking among the contestants, Andre and Damon stand in the middle of the square yelling for someone who speaks English. Hmm. You know, of all the things that could turn into disadvantages that would make you lose time, knowing less Spanish than other teams seems like an unusually fair one.

Flo and Zach and John Vito and Jill get to the hotel at the same time, and both land on the first bus. Last onto that bus are Michael and Kathy. Wow, Andre and Damon have slipped substantially while trying to get from Pablo to the hotel. First on the second bus are Heather and Eve, and they are quickly followed by Andrew and Dennis. Finally, Andre and Damon make it in.

Back at Zocalo Square, Ken and Gerard are looking for Pablo, while the twins have just arrived and are contemplating leaving their bags. In the taxi. In Mexico City. Their driver promises he'll drive around and come back for them. Wow, these guys are certainly walking crime bait. I'm tempted to use them to try out that Nigerian email scheme that always starts with some statement like, "Please take care to read carefully my tale, as I am hoping you will see the way to helping me with my difficulties and perhaps to help yourself even in the process of doing this." Gerard and Ken spot Pablo, and they just about collide with Derek and Drew and Gina and Sylvia in getting to him. Once the clues have been opened, Kenny and Gerard are off, as are Gina and Sylvia, but the twins have to wait for their driver. Because he's coming back with their bags. Any minute now, they are just sure. They allow as how this might not have been the smartest thing they could have done.

Commercials. Oh, yes, please. Can I please see Jackie Chan and Jennifer Love Hewitt in The Bionic Man and the Breasts of Wonder? Sounds great. I'll just be over here pounding my head against this wall.

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Amazing Race




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