Amazing Race
What If Our Parachute Doesn't Open?

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Once more, with feeling

Dennis and Andrew are father and son (respectively). Dennis is a Southern Baptist, and Andrew is a gay cheerleader. Whee! It's just like they say in Gypsy: You gotta have a gimmick. Andrew sits on the boat clapping in an extremely excitable manner. He says that he and his father don't always see eye-to-eye, almost making it sound like Dad objects to the cheerleading as much as to the being gay. We see the two of them on a football field, where Dad sits in a chair looking chagrined while Andrew does a fabulous standing back flip. Well, that'll come in handy if they win. Andrew predicts that they will either come back as "best friends," or someone will be filing a restraining order. Heh. Flo and Zach are friends, and they're not attracted to each other very much, but neither of them is making any progress with anyone else, so they're starting to think maybe they should just get married so they don't have to go on bad dates anymore. At least that's my interpretation. Technically, all they actually say is that they're friends, and they're pondering dating. For some reason that I suspect has a basis in either trauma or pharmaceuticals, Zach likes to wrap his mop of reddish-brown, unkempt, curly locks in a variety of girlish headbands. I think I'm starting to figure out why he's still available. Go get him, ladies! Er…ladies? He actually looks a lot like Chrissy on Growing Pains did after she took Miracle-Gro and became seven years old overnight.

Derek and Drew are identical twins. And models. And -- ew. They're models? That's interesting. I find them sort of weird-looking. In an interview, they talk about how much Drew likes girls and what a great strategy flirting is. We see them cavorting on the beach, just like they would if it were a women's intimate care product commercial. Only they'd be, you know, women. "We'll be cutthroat with a smile," says the less weird-looking one. Hey, just like me! Except for the smile.

Gina and Sylvia are calling themselves the "soccer moms." Oh, good. I hope the "focus group" thought your "demographic" would help the "big picture." They're from South Carolina, and they drawl for a while about how they represent stay-at-home moms, and how it's the hardest job in the world. There's a shot of them with their kids, and it's hard to tell whether the kids in the background, who are actually playing soccer, are theirs or not. If they are, there's a big gap between them and the little teeny kids Gina and Sylvia are sitting with in the shot. If they aren't, then…I'm sorry, but none of the little kids looks old enough to play soccer. Unless it's as the ball. Maybe "ring-around-the-rosie moms" didn't test as well with women aged 25-49.

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Amazing Race

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