Amazing Race
What If Our Parachute Doesn't Open?

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Once more, with feeling

It's so wrong how much I love this show.

One of the twins is out in front as everyone approaches the assembled backpacks. The clue tells them to get themselves to the Angel of Independence in Mexico City. You can only travel on one of three flights, and seats are first-come, first-served. They only get a hundred bucks for this leg. First step is to run to a fleet of SUVs, and the first to get there are the twins. One of the soccer moms racks herself running along the dirt road and pitches forward onto her knees. "Oh, jeez!" she exclaims. She must be carrying Bactine, though, if she's a real soccer mom. Backpacks are thrown into hatchbacks, and they're off. "Go, Zach! Follow those twins!" Flo urges. As the twins buckle up, I realize one of the things I think is weird about them. They look like David Duchovny, if his face were wider, and there were two of him. As Aaron and Arianne peel out, they yell "Wooo!" I have already had just about enough "woo!", and if you think about it, it's really, really early. In fact, we haven't even seen the…

Credits. Yeah, I'm not up to lyrics again. I was scraping against the bottom of the barrel by the end of last season. On the other hand, I don't want to waste the valuable real estate that the credits would otherwise occupy. You should do something valuable with yourself while we wait for the you-know-what at the end of the song. So here goes. The population of wading birds nesting in colonies in the southern Everglades is seven percent of what it was in the 1930s. The four figures at the corners of the Angel of Independence statue in Mexico City represent Peace, Justice, War, and Law. The angel had to be replaced at one point after an earthquake knocked her over. The literacy rate in Mexico is 89.2 percent. Pablo was the 339th most popular name in the United States in 1999. [BOMP.]

Flo tells us again that they're going to the Angel of Independence in Mexico City. You will be shocked to hear that American Airlines, the Official Airline of Comfort Food, Endorphins, Foreplay, and Great Wealth has returned as the carrier of the first flight -- the 1:40 PM flight you really, really want. It takes Dennis a minute to catch on to the fact that there are specifically designated flights, because he originally thinks that Choice Number Two -- Aeromexico, Official Airline of Spoiled Cheese and Being Left at the Altar -- would logically have more flights to Mexico City. Andrew explains that the American Airlines flight they're allowed to take is at 1:40, and the Aeromexico flight isn't until 2:20. Meanwhile, in Tramel and Talicia's SUV, he is picking on her driving. "Okay," he says, "We need to drive a little less like Mommy and a little more like Daddy." Taken as a general comment, that would suck like a Hoover, but I got the impression it was a reference to their actual mom and their actual dad, in which case it's a little funny. He voices over that they have the same parents, so he figures that some of his "perfection" must be buried in her somewhere. Ew. Shut up. On the other hand, I have to say I sort of get the impression he's kidding, at least somewhat. For instance, he says, "This team's so lucky to have me," and then he cracks himself up. If that's self-deprecating, it's amusing. If it's not? Yeah, we have a problem.

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Amazing Race

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