Amazing Race
What If Our Parachute Doesn't Open?

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A+
Once more, with feeling

The drunken cameramen careen around Miami as the teams streak down the highway to the airport. The twins, however, are not there at all. They're somewhere else entirely. But at least they're there together, and I think we know that's all that really matters. Andre and Damon and Michael and Kathy, on the other hand, appear at the airport and head inside. Seizure-inducing quick shots of the airport and its various attractions flash by, and you'd really think they'd be so fast that you couldn't notice them. But of course, I have TiVo. I see everything. You know what the sequence of shots is? An American Airlines plane. A schedule board. Ticket agents. A board that says "Air France Aeromexico Virgin Atlantic." Mexico City out the window of a plane. A ticket agent's hands typing. American Airlines gate markers. An American Airlines sign. And then we're inside. Some of that product-placement just about qualifies as subliminal advertising. Wow, creepy.

Michael and Kathy enter the airport and approach the ticket counter, as do Andre and Damon. Meanwhile, John Vito and Jill pull up outside, followed by Dennis and Andrew and Aaron and Arianne. Everyone goes for their luggage. "Let's go, let's go," Aaron whines. Shut up, Aaron. Taller and Shorter Annoying Girls emerge from their vehicle. As they go inside, Phil voices over that there are enough seats on the American flight for seven teams. The rest will be stuck on Aeromexico. (Wah-wah-waaaaah.) Heather and Eve check in on American. They're first on the flight. Booo. Shorter (who I think is Eve) claps dimly. John Vito and Jill are next on the American flight, and then Andre and Damon make it, once one of them finishes a wild wrestling match with the straps that mark off the little serpentine path you have to walk through when you're waiting in line. Heh. I love the physical comedy. Aaron and Arianne are fourth, and take a moment to gripe over Andre and Damon's line-jumping. Not that it mattered in the slightest. "What goes around comes around," Arianne says in a way that she thinks is ominous. Not. She's about as intimidating as a Volkswagen Beetle. A pink one. Covered in Hello Kitty stickers.

Ken and Gerard make their way to the airport. Gerard wants to blow off American and head for Aeromexico, because they're behind anyway. Talicia, meanwhile, is "Oh, God"-ing over the traffic.

Back at the airport, Michael and Kathy land seats on American, and when they're told that they probably can't sit together, he says, "That's okay. I don't even like her." Oh, har har. She says that the thing that will be hardest for her to get used to is how laid back he is. If it were me, I'd think the hardest thing to get used to would be his beard. Easily.

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Amazing Race




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