Amazing Race
Who Says Pageant Girls Don't Eat?

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Champagne wishes and caviar [bleeeaaaargh]

Chip and Kim drink vodka. Elsewhere, Lance is snapping at his locals, telling them to "be honest" about whether they know how to get to the statue, because "it's a race." And...I understand how he feels, but when you don't know where you're going, you kind of have to be a little more polite than that. Just because Julia Roberts said it in Pretty Woman doesn't mean it's not true: you can do whatever you want about directions when you ain't lost. Chip and Kim get a taxi to the horseman. Marshall and Lance, on the other hand, are still lost, and Marshall expresses his opinion that it's stupid to spend a lot of time walking when you could just get in a cab. And I agree. With Marshall. Signs of the apocalypse abound.

So yeah, Chip and Kim are in third place as they pull the restaurant clue and take off in their cab. Not bad.

Back in the hockey goal, Mirna and Charla stop some more extremely easy shots, and they're done. They read the horseman clue. Speaking of the horseman, Marshall and Lance are just arriving there, as Marshall explains that as with some other larger-sized folks, his knees tend to bother him after a while. In fact, at this point, they're "killing" him from all the walking.

Brandon and Nicole arrive at the restaurant. "You've got a taste for the good life, baby, you are Miss Texas!" he says happily. She reluctantly agrees to take the Roadblock. Inside, Christie takes note of the arrival. "Brandon and them are right there," she says. Colin is intense. "Baby, caviar!" Brandon says. "It'll go like that!" Mm-hmm. A key psychological moment comes when Nicole walks into the restaurant and spies the tearful Christie. "Is it gross?" she asks. Christie, puffy and watery eyes filled with sad little tears, says, "Yeah." Nicole tries a bite. "Euuhhh," she says unhappily. "Oh, that's disgusting." "Is it that nasty?" Brandon asks, as a picturesque glob falls unappetizingly off a spoon. (Nice edit, hee.) In a moment I just loved, Nicole says in a very matter-of-fact way, "It's like swallowing...a giant...loogie." It's the way you can't tell she isn't going to say, "It's extremely difficult" rather than something ending in "loogie" that makes it brilliant. I don't care if she was Miss Texas; so far, of all these women, she's the one I find easiest to relate to and easiest to like. Even if her boyfriend is kind of a spaz. Actually, maybe it's because of that.

Meanwhile, why has Christie put her little winter hat back on? Anyway, she has, and she's crying in earnest now, with Colin hovering behind her, giving her hugs. I guess the problem I have with all this support he's giving her is that it feels false to me. It feels like he's not supporting her to support her; he's supporting her as strategy to make her eat the caviar. It reminded me of Ian being all, "I love you! Come on!" She cries, he gives her hugs...it's unfortunately turned into a big psych-out, and I don't really think he was very helpful. I realize all psychology is armchair, but if anything, I think his hyped-up persona was her enemy at this point.

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Amazing Race

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