Amazing Race
Why Can't We Get a Camel?

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
Hello, I must be quitting

11:27 PM. Colin and Christie, leaving at just about the worst possible time to have a seven-hour lead. And I'm sorry, but as smart as I've already acknowledged the headlamps to be? He still looks like a dork. They rip their clue, which tells them to get to the entrance of the Great Pyramid. As the cameramen careen drunkenly to and fro, Phil explains that once they get there, they will go down 350 feet down a narrow tunnel to a chamber that is located at what Phil calls "the geographical center of the earth." Because apparently, the earth is 700 feet deep. That explains why when you get to the very bottom of an underground parking garage, you can faintly hear people speaking Chinese. Anyway, when they get to the bottom, they'll get their next clue. As they walk off the mat, Colin remarks to Christie that 350 feet down is "bad-ass," and that it's 35 stories. He interviews, while wearing something stupid and unidentifiable on his head, that they have this great lead now, and he's confident that they're going to win. Colin has apparently decided that fate-tempting is a figment of the imaginations of people who aren't sufficiently sure of themselves. As they walk, Christie asks Colin how he knows which pyramid is the Great Pyramid. "Just 'cause I know," he says. Well, why didn't he say so? With the Sphinx over her shoulder looking like it's going to hold two giant stone bunny ears up behind her head, Christie interviews that they both always believe that they're right, and that she thinks they need to do a better job of trying to work together if they're going to...I don't know, finish every leg before anyone else even starts, I guess. (Sphinx: "Hi, Mom!")

They approach a pyramid. Is it Great? Indeed, it is, judging by the red and yellow flag. However, the hours of operation are 6:00 AM to 9:00 PM, so they won't be entering right at the moment unless Colin wants to go all Intense on the gates. I wouldn't put it past him. He might be the Hulk, actually, come to think of it. Hulk want to see Great Pyramid! How Hulk know which pyramid Great? Hulk just know! Colin laments the situation, but Christie notes that it's still going to be a 45-minute lead or so going into the day, which is still at least something. She also says they're glad to have "a few extra hours to sleep." Or, I suppose, "strategize."

At 5:55 AM, they get up and get ready to go in. Colin says that they're ready to "go and blow." Oh, Colin, unnecessary nonsensical rhyming is no one's friend. And by the way, you get a good shot here of the backs of their jackets, which carry their logo -- "Texas Extreme." Well, not even that, really -- it's actually "Texas Xtreme." And that is lamer than Marshall. Had I been on this particular race, I could not have resisted yelling at him at pit stops, "Colin! Are you up for some extreme dinner?" And "Colin, are you enjoying those extreme potatoes?" And "Colin, can you pass the extreme salt?" Because "extreme" is like "feisty" -- it's deeply wrong to apply it to yourself without irony. But anyway, they start down the tunnel, which is quite narrow and requires them to crouch and ease down a lot of little steps, which are somewhere between stairs and ladder rungs, really. Colin instructs Christie in how to walk down, which seems perhaps a bit excessive, considering that his instructions essentially consist of, "One foot! Then the other foot!" Yeah, thanks, Mr. Wizard; I'm sure that without your help, she would have been trying to figure out how to balance on the back of her neck. He also ODs on the "come on, baby"s right about here. They get into the chamber and get the clue, which tells them to go to "the mound of creation" at the Karnak Temple in Luxor, Egypt -- which Phil explains is about 400 miles away. To get there, they need to go to the domestic, or "old," airport, where they can take any commercial flight, or they can travel on a charter flight that leaves at 11:30 AM. In Luxor, they'll find the temple and their next clue.

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Amazing Race




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