Amazing Race
Why Did You Have To Take Your Pants Off?!, Part I

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Everything Flo's downhill from here

In their cars, both FloZach and the Bald Snark discuss the clue about the car train. It appears that Gerard didn't give the clue a particularly thorough read at first, because it takes a minute for the car train thing to sink in. "Ohhhhh," he says, realizing he needs to get them to Kandersteg, rather than heading for any other intermediate destination. Bad Gerard! Read the clue first! But wait, now you can get that scholarship to Harvard Law!

As JVJ approaches the FF cabin, Jill speculates with a nervous smile about the task ahead. "I hope it's good cheese. What if it's smelly cheese? What if it smells like feet? You know how some cheese smells like feet?" John Vito moans. Hee. They arrive at the cabin and head inside, first taking note of the many cows grazing outside. "Oh my God, all these cows," Jill notes in a general way. "Where do you think all the cheese came from?" John Vito logically points out. "Oh my God, I'm gonna vomit," Jill says as they step inside and are, most likely, hit with an overwhelming cheese odor. Wow, this is like Cheese City. It's Cheesetown. It's Cheeseburg. Suffice it to say that Shack has seen this cabin in his nightmares. (Don't get him started on cheese. It's this thing.) When they get in there, we see that it really is a pretty impressive wheel of cheese they have to contend with. Jill calls it "slimy." Ick. "We can't eat all this cheese," John Vito says dejectedly. Of course, they don't have to eat all of it -- if they eat strategically, they shouldn't have to eat much more of it than necessary to uncover the clue. She makes him go first, and he pulls out a piece and eats it. No clue is revealed underneath. Calling the cheese "disgusting," she then takes a block right next to the one JV took -- no, Jill, look around the wheel for the card! Look around! It's also kind of sad that they view the cheese with such fear and loathing, because it's probably fancy-pants million-dollar Swiss cheese, and there are likely a lot of very proud cheese-makers standing behind every slimy bite. John Vito still thinks the cheese is a losing proposition, but he does encourage Jill to at least "bounce around" until they locate the clue. There is a pause as they try to chew the cheese. "Look at how thick this cheese is," John Vito says, a little incredulous. "Can we not think about it, and just do it, please?" Jill laughs. They are such an old married couple, and I say that in the nice, not-like-the-actual-old-married-couple kind of way. John Vito continues to argue that the cheese is too much and they should quit. Wow, you never know what's going to do a guy in. Skydiving? Fine. Smelly vats? No problem. Rappelling? You betcha. Cheese? He's outta here!

Elsewhere, Flo thinks that she and Zach are lost, because she can't find Kandersteg on the map. "If you find it, I'll be embarrassed," she set-ups. Of course, this is the cue for Zach to find it, and for her to act not all that grateful. They pull into the car train line and learn that the next train is at 10:40. It's currently 10:25.

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Amazing Race

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