Asshat is driving toward the mountain. Ian, with his usual positive attitude, is proclaiming that he's shocked that John Vito and Jill are "as bad at directions as [he and Teri] are." Right on cue, here is shirtless John Vito, leaning out of the car and asking for directions. Oy. He gets someone to lead them to the mountain. Ian, meanwhile, is griping that in a footrace, they'll lose to JVJ (or whoever). Both teams drive. Both teams pull up to the mountain. Both teams park.
There's Phil, standing at the mat with the lovely greeter. We're waiting to see who shows up first. "We're comin', Phil!" Ian yells. Remarkably enough, I could actually hear worldwide swearing when this happened. He and Teri come up to the mat. Welcome, Asshat, you are team number four. Now go away, I have to cry.
Jill and John Vito run up to the mat. Oh, Jill and John Vito. You are the last team to arrive. And you are (sniff) Philiminated. They hug. Phil asks them whether the race made them stronger. "Absolutely, it can only make people stronger. If you truly love each other, it can only make you stronger." Interestingly, in their interview, John Vito and Jill remind me spookily of Dave and Margaretta, of all things, because Jill says, "Our future now for us is what our future was before this race even began." It's very much what Margaretta once said about how they'd been married forever and nothing about the race was going to affect their relationship one way or the other. So that made me smile. Then, Jill says that they intend to "have children, and grandchildren, and get married." John Vito smiles and adds, "We're going to get married before we have the children and grandchildren." And they both laugh, and she flashes this ten-thousand-watt smile, and they're out. It's hard to believe we ever were afraid they were going to be a sad story, isn't it?
Executive producer? Jerry Bruckheimer.
Next week: It rains in Vietnam. Teri and Ian yell at each other. Zach is pushed toward the brink. And there is a tricky Roadblock. Oh, yes. There certainly is a tricky Roadblock.