Joey is in the back of the car with Meghan driving on the way to Craigmillar Castle, at least in theory. He thinks the derby moms are only a half hour ahead of them and is hoping they'll make up some time. Mona & Beth arrive in Duddingston and spot the sign pointing the ways to the two Detours (both of which they'll have to do, of course), before finding the rear entrance to the now-familiar Sheep Heid Inn, where the skittles alley is. They bustle in there just in time to watch some local knock down nine pins with a granny-shot. Beth and Mona start taking turns, and with no automatic pinsetter, every time they miss they have to run to the end of the lane and set the pins back up manually. Which is a lot. Beth has a pretty great reaction upon knocking down nine pins, though.
The two lead teams are back in Edinburgh, but Bates & Anthony appear lost while Max & Katie confidently park in the right area and go running toward Niddry Street. And thus Team Newlywed is the first to jump on the mat. Wow, two wins in a row for them. Pretty impressive for a team that started out so sucky. Phil is standing next to a towering greeter who's wearing a silk top hat and a bizarre mask that covers one side of his face. Wasn't Phantom of the Opera set in Paris? As if to compete with this bizarre presence, Phil pops an eyebrow at them, which Katie appreciates, and gives them a clue as to who the greeter is supposed to be: "He's kind of two-faced." Max realizes it's Jekyll & Hyde, I guess because Robert Louis Stevenson was Scottish. Poor Sir Walter Scott didn't get a shout-out in this episode, so he'll just have to content himself with the continued existence of his ridiculously huge monument a few blocks away. Phil gives them more good news: they're team number one. Which, this leg, as much as I'm not a fan of theirs, they fully deserved. They've also won ten thousand dollars each, which, eh. They've cleared off the mat before Bates & Anthony show up and are content to be team number two.
Caroline and Jennifer finish their haggis task, kiss their chef-slash-judge and Robert Burns, and happily head over to Duddingston Kirk, where they quickly see that the dirty work has already been completed. Off to the Pit Stop for them.
As the day winds down, Joey & Meghan are not having much luck finding Craigmillar Castle because they are Joey & Meghan. Joey is hoping the derby moms' Speed Bump will take a while, while Meghan just sits blank and silent behind the wheel as though she's just seen Edward Hyde.