Amazing Race
Working Our Barrels Off

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | 6 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Not-So-Great Scots

Bates interviews about the festivalgoers dancing and having a great time while "we were working our barrels off." The brothers end up panting for breath outside the canopy after their first delivery, while an onscreen graphic dings to say that they've gotten two of eight barrels done. Let me just do some quick math here: If every team did this Detour, the festival would be taking delivery of a total of forty barrels, each of which probably holds fifty gallons of scotch. Assuming the brothers' weight estimate is correct, that is literally two tons of liquor, and there can't be more than a few dozen people attending this "festival." So if they plan on drinking it all, that's just added incentive to get this done and get out of here as quickly as possible.

Max & Katie arrive at the aforementioned Sheep Heid Inn, which happens to be the venue for the haggis task. They throw on white butcher's coats while watching Bates & Anthony schlep barrels past outside. "Looks like they're doing the whiskey challenge," Max remarks mildly while Bates goes, "Aaargh!" Team Newlywed chose... wisely.

Meanwhile, Caroline & Jennifer are still peeking into fireplaces at Craigmillar Castle, belatedly realizing that they need to be looking up in the chimneys. When they find their Detour clue at last, they go with the haggis side. "We do not have the mental strength to do the barrels," Caroline interviews. I'm not even going to argue with that. Driving to the Detour, Caroline tells Jennifer that haggis might be meat pudding. "I blew something hard all day, now I'll just eat it," she says. Oh, behave.

Bates & Anthony now have six of their eight barrels lined up, and walk down for two more. "If it's not Scottish, it's crap," Bates quotes. As is right, proper and inevitable. I mean, if someone hadn't said it at some point, I would have had to.

Max & Katie are witnessing a demonstration of how to make haggis, which is pretty horrible. "I can smell that sheep's last meal," Max interviews. As they take their plates of meat and head over to a workstation, a man in period costume walks purposefully across the lane and into the inn. An onscreen subtitle identifies this man as "Robert Burns, 18th Century Scottish Poet." Team Newlywed are actually having some fun with their haggis-making when old Robbie strides up to them, introduces himself in a plummy Scottish burr, and energetically recites his poem, "Address to a Haggis." There are subtitles as he does so, translating the archaic Scottish to modern English. "I guess the guy really likes haggis," Max figures. My first concern would be in what form this is going to be on the final.

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Amazing Race

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