Amazing Race
You Are Just Deliberately Trying To Make Us Lose!

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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In the manure to which you've become accustomed

"Let's go for the Fast Forward," Chuck says in the boat, so that Millie doesn't hurt him. They bail on the boats and scoot.

Elsewhere in Amsterdam, at 12:54 PM, the last flight is finally dragging into town carrying David and Jeff ("Whoooo?") and AirSteve and Dave. They all grab a train.

ClownJon and Al are driving through very green fields, looking for the manure ranch. They finally reach the flag, and before you know it, they are "woo hoo"-ing as they run up the path. As they reach the manure pile, ClownJon says to someone, "Where's the pile, man?" He hesitates, looks at the pile, and says, "Don't tell me that's the pile, man." Because fifteen feet of manure, it turns out, is kind of a lot. Not only that, but this is no stagnant manure pile. They're actually continually dropping a fresh supply on top of it, just in case it starts to get stale or anything. The last thing you want is for your poo to go bad. The clowns don white zip-up suits and boots, but as promised, their hands are left free. "You look ridiculous, man," ClownJon pot-kettles as Al walks toward the pile ahead of him. As they muck through a smaller preliminary pile, they decide that "that's not cool," so they'll go around and approach the pile from the other side. No need to get more on you than necessary, I suppose.

Kelly and Jon spot the flag at the museum and open the clue. "Let's do poo," Jon says gamely. "Poo?" Kelly says playfully. "You?" Hee. He points out that it's much closer, and she grits her teeth and moans, but she's smiling, and you can tell she's going to do it.

In the Chuck and Millie cab, Millie is crying, because Chuck never does what she wants, I guess. Or something. "Sorry," he says first, because Millie apologizing first is very unlikely, I suspect. "Not your fault," she says, to her credit. "It takes two; it's not your fault." She voices over, "I don't see how either one of us can not be realizing some of the huge compatibility issues that have been going on." Amen to that, sister. They approach the windmill, and they are strapped in. It certainly looks like this windmill is outfitted for this purpose, so I think the guy gives rides. It certainly doesn't look like being strapped to a windmill is as novel a notion as it was when Phil described it. The windmill starts revolving, and Millie shrieks. Round and round they go, and it looks like it's probably really interesting for them, but I don't find it that enthralling to watch. Again, I'm biased against these deals where they tie you to something. Chuck voices over that, given the frantic day they were having and the trouble they were having getting along, being alone on the windmill sail was actually a welcome moment of peace. When it's over, they're untied and given the keys to a marked car nearby, which they can drive to the pit stop, which is at the Kasteel Muiderslot. As Phil explains, it's yet another ancient castle in a nearby town. The last team to check in will be eliminated. There's the mat! The mat! Feeeear the mat!

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Amazing Race

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