Amazing Race
You Are Just Deliberately Trying To Make Us Lose!

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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In the manure to which you've become accustomed

As Jaree tries to find the pit stop, Tian -- who is again staring desolately out the window -- voices over that although she didn't exactly want to be eliminated, she also didn't particularly care at this point. I have no idea what the hell happened to her this leg, but I can only chalk it up to Killer Fatigue. She looks terrible, as if she either has hit the wall on sleep, or some specific thing Jaree said to her was so bad that it shut her down totally. She doesn't even look like the same chick from the previous legs.

AirSteve and Dave drive toward the pit stop. Tian and Jaree drive. Everyone hits traffic. AirSteve interviews that there was no way they were going to give up, particularly after the last two legs. Jaree voices over that she came to win. A heartbeat is added to the soundtrack. Or at least I hope that's the case, or else I need to call the doctor.

Phil waits at the pit stop. Who will arrive first? Coming up the walk, it's...Tian and Jaree. Welcome, you are team number seven. "Really?" Jaree asks. "We thought we were eliminated." "'Hoping' is more like it," Tian says. "She was. I wasn't," Jaree says. Hmm -- who knew Tian would be the big quitter and her albatross partner would keep going? Interesting development, that. Tian says in an interview that she "[doesn't] know where this is going to go."

Welcome, AirSteve and Dave. Phil is trying to look serious, but it's hard in that comical sweater. AirSteve runs the last three steps to the mat, to finish his very funny joke about how he never runs anywhere. If I'm supposed to think it's cute that they never even tried to hurry anywhere, I don't think I'm up to it. Dave comments that although they're eliminated, he's "keeping the cheese." Hee. This makes Phil laugh, and I love the Phil grin, so that's a good thing. In an interview, Dave says he really loves his wife -- not that he talked about being married before, ever -- and then he starts crying, which is weird, because I originally thought he was kidding, but I guess not. Very weird editing at the end. On the mat, AirSteve says that they "did all right for a couple of old farts." Whatever. I don't mind that they're naturally not that fast, but I do mind that they didn't seem to even want to try. You've got to want it a little bit, or I don't understand why you don't just stay home. Which is why I'm glad they're gone.

Executive producer? Jerry Bruckheimer. [Very special cymbal crash!]

Next week: India. Oh, India. Reichen, channeling all previous racers who have experienced India, says he could not have prepared for it. Jaree comforts Tian, who appears to be continuing to decompensate, and also tells some guy not to grab her boob or he'll find himself thrown off the train. All righty, then.

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Amazing Race

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