We're off to China, where this week's episode discovers its several themes. First, Rebecca loves to call El Hornio "honey" when she knows it's going to annoy him, but not at any other times. Second, Kris and Jon have worse cab driver luck than anyone since Esquire, and that is no joke. Third, Freddy and Kendra are still pretty mad about that Yield, and they're determined to make it up to Hornio, which they do -- contrary to what I said in last week's recap, because I am a goof. Anyway, there's a mad rush to the finish between a Yielded and sucking Hornio and a cab-screwed Kris and Jon, and even though Kris and Jon almost get squashed by a taxi AND a bus, they do manage to land on the mat third, and Hornio finishes last. But like last season, they've elected to take four teams into the two-hour finale, so this is a non-elimination situation. Sigh. The one leg that doesn't include ten instances of stupid, producer-forced bunching, and of course, it's completely meaningless, because they'll get fully bunched at the beginning of the finale. Speaking of whichâ¦the odds are three out of four that a team with at least one person I find completely objectionable is going to win. Yuck.
Credits. In the credits of my imagination, Freddy drops her. I'm just saying. Not so that she gets hurt or anything. Just so she's doing double-time with the Water Pik for the next two weeks, getting the sand out of her teeth.
Commercials. Now what do you suppose "color-resist technology" is, in the lip products field? I'm anxious to know, because when I think about what's really comfortable to wear on your lips, the first thing that comes to mind, for me, is "industrial-strength sealants."
Loud drums confirm that we are back in Sri Lanka, the home of buses, fabulous buildings, and one really, really pissed-off monkey. Seriously. That monkey is bad-ass. That monkey will cut you. Specifically, we are at Lion Rock, or at least the Ramada at Lion Rock, where teams landed, dripping wet, at the end of the last leg. And there's that monkey again! Man. Phil wonders whether Hayden and Aaron's endless bickering (which he generously calls their "frustration with each other") will hinder them, and whether El Hornio and Rebecca will just kiss already. (Not really.)
11:59 PM. Kris and Jon. With a smile, she reads the clue that tells them to fly to Shanghai, China. Phil explains that this jaunt is more than 4000 miles, and that when they land, they'll head for Yu Yuan Gardens, where they'll find a clue. Or, in the case of some of the teams, try desperately to get a clue. According to Kris, they have $142 for the leg. Not a palindrome! How unusual. Kris voices over that they sense the race getting more intense, and they "really have to be at the top of [their] game." To beat people like Hornio? Eh. Unless they get really crappy luck, they only need to be in about the middle of their game, I sense. They get themselves a taxi. "To the airport!" Jon says as he throws the door closed. I have an urge to shout, "Andale!", but I don't know why.
12:04 AM. Aaron voices over that he and Hayden are almost to the final three, and adds that Hayden is "bull-headed." You know you're annoying when your own boyfriend uses "bull-headed" as a euphemism. They take off in their cab. To no one's surprise, Hayden seems pissy already.