Amazing Race
You Deal With This Before I Hyperventilate

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Like Madonna and Sean Penn, only more tiresome

In the Nuance cab, Kendra is talking about how much she loves Shanghai. I'm telling you, she's going to love it even more when somebody tells her about that one-child rule.

In the Kris and Jon cab, things look bad. Their guy doesn't seem to really so much have any idea where he's going. And remember, this trip? According to Phil, it was about three miles. Should not have been a tough one for the cab guy.

Back at the tai chi masters, El Hornio and Rebecca are asking for the clue. Rebecca, for some reason, declares that only men can be masters. Because she's an idiot. Seriously, what kind of shit is that? You don't know anything about another culture, so you just assume that women aren't allowed to be masters in a pursuit like this? Whatever. She bothers me. Finally, they find a master who Rebecca tells that he looks like her yoga teacher. He hands over the clue, but if we're lucky, he doesn't know what she's babbling about. They read the clue, "Currently in Last Place." They leave.

Hayden and Aaron jog to the bricks. Aaron tells her that he thinks she can take about 20 at a time, which means it will take her fifteen trips with that thing to carry all her bricks. Freddy and Kendra arrive at the end of the road as well. Kris and Jon, on the other hand, have been driven to entirely the wrong place. When they needed to go...that's right, three miles. Suspicious? Oh, I think so.

Nuance pulls the clue, and they want the bricks. Hayden, however, is struggling with hers. And she keeps telling Aaron how she's struggling, which I'm sure will help a lot. Nothing improves your productivity like complaining. They unload their first load of bricks.

Jon tries to get his driver to move it a little, clearly now suspecting that they guy is either ripping them off on purpose, or he never had any idea where they were going in the first place. And in the Hornio cab, El Hornio says he has some wicked intent toward Nuance, but he declines to say precisely what it is. I'm sure it's not that interesting, since it's...you know, him.

Up at the Detour, Freddy and Kendra are loading up their bricks. Hayden is struggling mightily with the load on her wee shoulders. She actually manages to make the taking of baby steps something that makes her boobs vibrate conspicuously. That is impressive. And some guys are sitting around laughing at them, which is excellent. It might be the boobs, though. Some guys do laugh uncontrollably. As, like, a defense mechanism. Anyway, for some reason, Kendra suddenly gets incredibly angry at Freddy out of nowhere, which I didn't understand at all. I begin waiting patiently for a brick to fall on her toe. Except for the part about "patiently."

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Amazing Race

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