Amazing Race
You Deal With This Before I Hyperventilate

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Like Madonna and Sean Penn, only more tiresome

Kris and Jon still haven't gotten themselves to quite the right spot, so they ask for some directions and get them, finally heading for the actual clue box after quite an ordeal.

Hayden and Aaron are finished with the bricks. "Currently in 1st Place," they get the clue sending them to the pit stop. Phil explains that this involves a three-mile trip to the Peace Hotel South, where they'll motivate their asses to the roof and find the mat. Hayden and Aaron's driver knows where the hotel is, leading to a "Yeeeeahhhhh!" shout from Aaron, complete with arms raised over his head. Mmm, arms. How I have missed swoon-worthy arms.

Jon and Kris arrive just as Hayden and Aaron are leaving. Unsurprisingly, the young and the studly choose bricks. Not long after, here comes Hornio. "The little ones are here," Kendra pouts conspicuously. Hornio takes the bricks, too, mostly because everyone else is, and as they start out, Rebecca calls him "honey" again, and El Hornio's like, "Don't call me 'honey,'" and they're both just so ridiculous, really.

Freddy and Kendra finish up the Detour and leave. Hayden and Aaron hassle their cab driver.

Kris and Jon are still carrying bricks without complaining. Hornio is carrying bricks with extra complaining, both from Rebecca's constant "honey, please hurry up" and from Hornio's resentful demand that she stop calling him "honey." And really, if you can't have a huge, bitch-slapping fight over terms of endearment, it suggests that you don't really love each other, I think.

In the Nuance cab, Freddy delivers the bad news that it's no edit -- Hornio really did arrive at the Detour at almost the same time as Jon and Kris, who, Freddy acknowledges, "have had bad luck today with cabs." He says that last place is certainly up in the air right now.

Rebecca, who so recently was whining at Adam to go faster, drops all of her bricks in the drink while she's crossing the platform. The locals, whom I love and may send flowers to, laugh at her. Oh, Kris and Jon? They're just working on the Detour. Just working. As they do. They would be so much more fun to watch if they were more emotionally abusive. Oh, wait, they actually wouldn't. Anyway, Rebecca calls El Hornio "honey" -- again. "Don't call me 'honey,'" he says -- again. "All right, ass," Rebecca says, hauling out a joke I think is of about the same vintage as Don Rickles, but still thinking she is That Really Really Really Daringly Funny Girl.

Aaron and Hayden and Nuance are both on their way to the pit stop in their cabs.

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Amazing Race

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