Amazing Race
You Deal With This Before I Hyperventilate

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
Like Madonna and Sean Penn, only more tiresome

"If we have another chance, we're going to beat Freddy and Kendra, I can tell you that much," El Hornio spits in their cab. The two cabs pull up to the Peace Hotel South, apparently from different directions. Kris and Jon go to run across the street, but as they do, they come within a few feet of getting killed by a taxi that screeches to a stop in front of them, and when they get by that, a passing bus nearly takes them out. That really was pretty nerve-wracking. Kris and Jon work their way onto an elevator. Hornio does the same. "These taxi drivers today, man," Jon says in frustration. "I know, I know," she tells him. And then, running up to the mat, it''s...Kris and Jon. Oh, good. They allow that they had a bit of a rough day. I still love them, even though I fear this weird tendency they have to randomly bleed time in the middle of legs.

Hornio. Coming up to the mat. I wish I could tell you they are Philiminated, but no, it's the "I have good news for you" thing, because once again, we are taking four teams into the finale. Which, I'm sorry, I think sucks. I don't understand why you would ever combine a Yield with a non-elimination leg, I don't understand why you would make a non-elimination leg practically the only one that didn't have endless bunching and thus allowed for some actual separation of the teams, I don't understand why you want to take four teams into the very last episode, meaning you've spread seven eliminations over, counting the clip show, twelve episodes. I liked the two-hour, three-team race. I liked that it really gave the show a lot of time to focus on those last three teams. This is a change with no conceivable benefit, it seems to me, like most of the "changes" they've instituted, including the Yield, the elimination of the Fast Forward as a meaningful device, the money strip...every single one of them is bad, with the exception of the six-Roadblock rule, which got us out of the rut of watching the same person do every damn Roadblock for a whole season. Other than that? All bad. Every change, bad. Constant cushy hotel pit stops? Bad. Screechingly nasty husbands? Bad. All bad. Bad, bad, bad. I'm still hoping for that S1 DVD, and when it comes out, you're all going to see what I mean. Because a lot of you weren't around for Race Classic, and you're going to have a much harder time swallowing the Yield when you've watched a season where fighting both between and among teams was an event, rather than constant background noise.

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Amazing Race




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