Amazing Race

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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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In the Crap

Meanwhile, Jet and Cord are schlepping their hay through the alleys and streets, Jet repeating, "Hurry! Hurry!" as if Ron and Christina are going to be able to catch up with them, ever.

Vyxsin is quizzing some bystanders near the riverbank about the whereabouts of Ramnagar Fort, and they point across the river. The Goths jump into a boat, but this particular pilot appears to be a statue. It's hard to tell for sure with his face blurred like that, but he certainly isn't moving very quickly. They try to get him to go already, but he's taking his sweet time, conversing with another boatman who apparently also didn't sign a release. Blurry-faced fellows must have a lot to talk about to each other, I guess. "Hey, I didn't see you at the blur-face meeting last week." "Really? I gave the keynote speech." "Oh, I must have mistaken you for someone else." Kent decides they want no part of this guy, but they're already fifteen feet out, so they frantically gesture to be brought back. But even that's not happening fast enough for Vyxsin, so she jumps off her the side of the boat and into the Ganges, clear over her head. "Don't go in the water, are you insane!?" Kent "roars" as she tires to tow the boat back to the dock. He sounds like a mom in anger-panic as he hauls on her hand and snaps, "Get out of that water!" Seriously, now she's going to have to spend the Pit Stop rest period in quarantine.

She's still in there after the ads, although Kent is yelling at her, "You need to calm it down. This isn't working." Unlike the yelling of Kent, which is totally working. The guys on the dock help haul her out, and Kent gets off with their backpacks. "You gotta get a grip, sis," he says as he follows her up the steps. "Lets' go up and catch a taxi." But don't step in front of one, or else Vyxsin's going to end up like Paul McCrane in Robocop.

Kisha and Jen arrive in third place. They'll take it, as always, because that's probably the best ranking they'll ever get.

Jet and Cord get their hay delivered and receive their Pit Stop cue in sixth place. Ron and Christina do the same, in last. At the Pit Stop, Mallory emerges from a doorway whooping, and whoops all the way to the Mat, where Phil eyebrows at her before telling them they're team number four.

Meanwhile, the supposed fifth-place team is trying to flag down a taxi on the street, and Vyxsin wastes time trying to hire an empty tuk-tuk. So it's not entirely surprising when Jet and Cord arrive on the mat in fifth place. They high-five, and Cord explains, "Every time we had a chance to bust it and get back in the race by pure grit and try, that's what we did." And after a self-congratulatory speech like that, the Heroic Cowboy Theme probably would have been overkill.

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Amazing Race

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