Amazing Race
You Know I'm Not as Smart as You

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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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Saw That Coming

So it's just Dave all alone at the auction. There aren't even any buyers left. "He's gonna feel real bad if we're eliminated, I know," Cherie says. He does get handed a clue on his next try, either because he finally got it right or because the Gaucho has received word that it just doesn't matter any more. In the cab to the Pit Stop, they congratulate each other on not quitting and hope for a non-elimination. Wrong season for that, guys. Finally they make their way to the mat, both wearing their rubber clown noses and Dave wearing a stupid hat. They take the noses off as they step on the mat, and Diego Maradona beams happily at them as they are Philiminated. "Any regrets?" Phil asks. Dave gets a little verklempt as they talk about how lucky they are to have gotten this far; they've been through worse in nearly 20 years of marriage, and they still have each other. In fact, they think they're the luckiest couple in the world, which is nice to hear them say. Sure, they could bitch about bus problems costing them the race, but a) shit happens, b) it happened to three other teams who managed to survive, and c) they were never going to win anyway. They make a clown-style exit, popping their noses back off and walking off in a way that even assistance from the Amazing Editors in the form of sped-up video, circus music, and a shot of Phil and Diego pretending to laugh makes only mildly amusing.

One Dave down. Now we need to get rid of a Rachel, and I'm leaning toward one of them in particular.

M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.

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Amazing Race

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