Amazing Race
You Know I'm Not as Smart as You

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Saw That Coming

Other Rachel and Major Dave's pot boils next, so they're off to the bus station in third place. There's a little honking by the lead teams as they pass people waiting for boiling water, and JJ and Art are especially happy to have passed Team Big Brother. "That's for ripping our clue out of your hand, Arthur," JJ says. Rachel and Brendon get their clue in fourth place, with the clowns in fifth, Cherie cartwheeling back to their car. Ralph remarks, "The clowns just left, and the teachers (meaning Nary and Jamie, who as you recall are actually federal agents) are still here." Cherie's glad to not be in last. Enjoy it while it lasts. Vanessa and Ralph finish and take off in sixth. Elliot and Andrew, the twins, are in seventh, and Team Fitness is now somehow in eighth, leaving the cousins behind. Which they feel a little bad about after getting help from them, not to mention the physics of how they got a boil before a team that was ahead of them. But Kerri and Stacy don't have to wait much longer, so they're out of there in ninth place. "Second leg and it's dog eat dog," Stacy says. Well, especially when it's dogs like Joey "Fitness" and Danny.

Nary and Jamie finally get a boil after 45 minutes of what Nary calls "torture" (and as federal agents, they know quite a bit about that, if what I've seen on 24 is any indication), so they're off in last place. We cut to the city of Salta, where Bopper and Mark are arriving at the bus terminal, just ahead of the Border Patrol agents. The two Rachel teams turn up shortly thereafter, and soon all four teams are together on the very next bus to Buenos Aires. Sure, they're in the lead now, but as JJ points out, "It's an eighteen-hour trip, anything could happen." Bopper gets everyone's attention and announces at top volume, "I don't know where I'm goin', but I'm a goin'!" Never have the words "eighteen-hour bus ride" sounded so terrifying.

The clowns are the next team to reach the bus station, and thus they end up on the second bus with Ralph and Vanessa, Elliot and Andrew, and Team Fitness. They spot the cousins arriving as their bus pulls out, so that's one team they know is behind them at least. "And so are the teachers," Ralph adds, referring to the federal agents. Do we even know what agency they belong to? Until further notice I'll just have to assume its CTU. The two all-female teams end up on the last bus, just hoping another bus ahead of them breaks down. As though that's likely.

The teams sleep on their respective buses (they got a very early start to their day, remember), the sun goes down, and over a black screen we hear the sound of crashing glass. Suddenly we see that the second bus is pulled over by the side of the road, and one of the seats is full of shattered safety glass, like someone dumped out several gallons of blue-green slushie. "Luckily no one was hurt," Cherie says from the shoulder. The New York guys are ready to drive on, but as Cherie says, the driver and whoever else are "playing with duct tape and cardboard trying to cover up the window." Vanessa says there could be other team members on board any of the buses passing them right now. Indeed, the last bus goes by, just as Nary and Jamie happen to be asking their conductor for directions to Liniers. At least I hope it's the conductor, because his eyes aren't on the road and his hands aren't on the wheel. That's a good way for a bus to end up back in last place in a hurry.

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Amazing Race

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