Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A | Grade It Now!
Out On a Limb

Ken and Tina are leaving at -- get this -- 3:30 a.m. So after they raced the Frat Boys to the mat at the end of the previous leg, they spent an entire hour faffing about looking for their clue. Embarrassing. But now they're happy just to be going to Portland. "I love Portland!" Ken sings out as they jog to their taxi. I do too. Powell's Bookstore, gorgeous scenery, my illustrious predecessor's alma mater, and our own DeAnn Welker -- what's not to like? Tina is also looking forward to visiting the Northwest. In their interview from the end of the last leg, Tina talks about how it's been their goal to win all along. "I don't care who we're up against; I'm not leaving without the prize." Well, unless she wins, that could get awkward.

The Frat Boys have gotten their boarding passes, and now decide to use some time doing research on the internet. Nick and Starr are way ahead of them on that front, and have found the website of the place they're going to: "Ropes, cables, beams, tires, logs...Dude, you and I are going to rock anything like this." Whoa, my unsavory theories about their off-screen relationship just veered into a much darker place. Meanwhile, the Frat Boys notice the arrival of Ken and Tina and their beeline to the Lufthansa counter. While waiting for their tickets on the same flight, Tina tells Ken, "I'm about to lose it." He calls her a "good girl" and gives her an encouraging kiss on the forehead. Tina insists that she can trust Ken, and she can see in his eyes that he's changed. Contacts?

On to the plane, which doesn't look too full. Nick is wearing glasses as Starr VOs about their confidence. Tina VOs, "No helping anyone but ourselves." Because just look how helping Dallas bit them in the ass last week. Or it would have, had Dallas not lost his money and passport. Speaking of that, Dan claims, "The Moscow miracle brought us here. This is the Stanley Cup, the World Series, the Super Bowl all rolled into one." And on that note, their Lufthansa 747 lifts off from Moscow.

Here's the Amazing Yellow Line's valedictory performance of the season, stopping in Frankfurt before making a long curve seemingly halfway around the top of the world, bisecting Greenland and Hudson Bay. Phil VOs, "All teams are now traveling via Frankfurt, Germany to their final destination of Portland, Oregon." The first of what will be many shots of Portland skyline porn introduce us to the city, and then the flight attendant is opening the door. Ken and Tina dash out of there like they're spring-loaded, with Nick and Starr right behind them on the otherwise empty jetway. They must have bribed the other passengers to let them go first. "Let's go, a million bucks," Dan says to Andrew from their typical straggler position. I have to give them credit for not just sitting down at the gate and sighing, "Oh, fuck it, who are we kidding?"

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Amazing Race




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