The first to leave is Team Paolo, at 7:27 AM. The clue tells them to hoof it to Playa Maracas. Boy, if any place has ever had more of a recreational name than Playa Maracas, I'm not sure I've heard of it. It's got foreign words for "beach," it's got boob euphemisms...what more can you ask for? At the beach, Phil explains that one team member will swim out to a buoy to get their next clue. As the Paolos leave, Mama says she's trying not to concentrate on her aching legs. I would think her annoying family would be a useful distraction. DJ says in an interview that he respects the fact that his mother has been doing all manner of physical stuff he wouldn't have expected. And...look at the faces on Papa and Brian in this interview. This is the post-episode interview, and you could have guessed, if you'd been keen-eyed right here. DJ does add, however, that his mother also makes him "nuts." Wouldn't want to get carried away with the warmth.
7:28 AM. The Linzes reveal that the booty for this leg is $310. Tommy interviews that they do believe their team is physically strong, but that's not the only factor, they're aware. Nick tells us in a different interview that you can't always even tell what it's going to take to be in first place. Now, this is where I want to confess something to you. For several weeks now, I have had Nick and Alex exactly backwards. I was right when I told you I could finally tell them apart, and that my eye could at least distinguish the three brothers reliably. However, the one my brain had labeled "Alex" is actually "Nick," and the one my brain had labeled "Nick" is actually "Alex." I'm very upset by this. I'm even more upset by the fact that not one single person has emailed me to tell me that I have this backwards, which means that really, none of y'all give a crap either. That's how you can tell what's wrong with this season. People aren't invested enough to nitpick. I've gotten emails in my TWoP career about coatimundi, about the Bengals, about my wrongheaded use of "comprise" and "gelling," and about the error of my ways in picking on Texas. And I've been mixing up two contestants for weeks and weeks and pages and pages and I have not heard a peep. Dear This Show: Please don't do this again, with the families and the domestic flights and the trailer homes and the big giant chair. No one cares, in case you haven't noticed.