Amazing Race
You Look Ridiculous

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | 2 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Double your "pleasure," double your zzzzz…

We are transported to Phoenix, home of (1) horses; (2) cacti; and (3) being really fucking hot. The surprising development comes when the Godlewskis land first at 8:35 AM, having gotten in a full 45 minutes early. They find their Yukon. "Oh, man, it's hotter than snot," someone comments. Seriously. I've visited family in Tucson, and "hotter than snot" really doesn't begin to describe it out there. For one thing, snot isn't nearly arid enough to describe the way that all moisture you have ever known in your life instantly drains from your body the minute you get off the plane. It's like, "Welcome to Arizona: The Dry As A Wafer State." The pinks get directions on the way out of the airport, and they take I-10 toward Tucson. They're very pleased to have seen that the cars were all there, meaning they got to town in first place.

The flight from JFK lands at 9:20 as scheduled, carrying the Bransens, Paolos, and Weavers. Wally and the Tonyas are the first to find their car and get going, followed by the Weavers. The Paolos, at a disadvantage because there are only two cars left, making the pattern harder to spot than it was when there were five cars all together, take longer to find the Yukon. While they're looking, the Linzes land at 9:30 AM. The Linzes find the Yukons quickly, though, leaving the Paolos behind in the parking lot, where Brian eventually finds the one remaining Yukon so they can take off in last place. In a telling moment, as the family gets into the car, DJ's Mama says to him, "I hope to God you never get married, D. I really do. Because nobody would put up with your nonsense." I think after seeing this season on television, she's much closer to getting her way. Mama goes on to suggest again that DJ's father talk to him, and we're right back into the territory where they're very uncomfortable to watch. They get into their car and get going.

Meanwhile, in the lead, the excited Godlewskis arrive at the go-kart school and gabble-gabble their way from their car to the clue box. Phil and his tangerine shirt explain that this is a Roadblock for one person who will get in a go-kart and go 50 laps to get a clue. Michelle suits up, is told that she'll have to come in for a single pit stop at lap 25, and is sent on her way. She crawls into the vehicle and goes. Mean lady in a car! Awesome! Meanwhile, the Bransens find their way to the school, where Wally is chosen to do the Roadblock. Because -- say it with me -- Wally is so fast! This seems like an idea with no evident flaws that I can see. Good thinking! Can I drink now, or do I have to wait?

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Amazing Race

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