Launching the little motorboat turns out to be harder than it looks, and it's fairly tight between the Linzes and the pinks by the time they both get going. Meanwhile, the Weavers get there a bit behind. As for the Bransens, they and the Paolos both know that it's a race between the two of them to be eliminated.
As the Linzes and Godlewskis putter along in the water, the Godlewskis start to gain ground. It would appear that everybody's got their boat on full speed, so they all deduce that this has to do with the greater weight that the Linzes are carrying. Both teams are frantically looking around every bend for Phil, the Linzes just hoping that Phil will appear before the pinks have a chance to actually catch up and pass them. And then we look up ahead to see Phil at the mat with some random kid. And...approaching Phil...it's...the pinks. Holy moly. They get up on the mat and are welcomed as team number one. Their prize is a travel trailer. This show has officially turned into The Price Is Right, complete with showcase showdown. The prize for next time, just so you know, will be a Garfield lamp.
And then Phil says, "Once again, the poor Linzes." They trundle up the stairs of the houseboat, not happy at all about being in second, but better off as team number two than as lots of other things. Phil asks about the way the pinks keep foiling them, and Nick suggests that maybe the pinks will share a prize with them. I think not, but it's not a bad try, since what he's really doing is flirting, and that might actually work.
Welcome, Weavers, you're team number three. They stand there looking unhappy. Phil asks what's up with the long faces. At first, Rachel complains, "We're all alone." Phil asks what's up with that. "It's really frustrating, because those people are, like, classless," Rachel says, apparently forgetting the part where she and her sister threw garbage out of a window at another team. "It's hard to just...cooperate with people like that." The greeter kid looks at her like she's already made him hate her, and he's only known her for fifteen seconds. Phil tries to tell her that she needs to listen to the part of what her mother said when her mother said to just run their own race and not worry about everybody else. "What it is," Rachel says, "is we don't cuss, and it's just hard to, like, deal with people like that and then have them group up against you and be the only family that's trying to live a Christian life, and it's just hard." Phil tells her to shut up and race. He says it slightly nicer, but that's what he means.
I really can't tell you in words how offensive that speech is in every possible way. Holding up not cussing as if it has something to do with moral superiority, denigrating other people's "class" after they tried to comfort you about your father and you responded by throwing trash at them, bragging about being the only family "trying to live a Christian life," as if (1) you are the judge of who's a Christian; (2) you are trying particularly hard to live a Christian life; or (3) Christians are superior to everyone else. I mean, that last part barely even gets said anymore, because why bother, but standing on the mat and bragging about how you're the best family because you're Christians is pretty much like standing on the mat bragging about how you're the best family because you're white. Elevating your religion above everyone else's is bigotry, and the idea of a girl whose sister gave a speech earlier about how everyone is so intolerant and hates them for being "different than they are" giving a speech that amounts to "Woe is me; I have to spend time around people who aren't of the same religion I am" is just...sort of outrageous. They're totally vile, and as one of my friends commented after the episode, their mother is damning them to a life of failure by teaching them to adopt an attitude of superiority through victimhood. Good luck with that.