Amazing Race

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Solving for Pie

Christie asks some locals, "Holzsager, wo ist?" Finally they find the robot loggers, and as they wait for their disk, Jodi says, "I've never felt like such a dumb blonde in my entire life. We've got to quit being so literal." At least using words like "literal" makes her seem less dumb. Now they just have to get back to their car with the Pit Stop clue, which is at least more portable than that log they've since ditched. Steve and Linda find the loggers shortly thereafter. "Aren't they beautifully carved?" Linda marvels. Actually, at night, they're fucking creepy. Steve and Linda get their clue stamped and are on their way with a "Ciao." Which is German for "We don't speak German, but goodbye in another random language anyway."

We rejoin the race for seventh, while the frustration mounts between the two remaining sibling teams. The Flight Attendants stop for directions, and learn they're going the wrong way. Again. Steve and Linda have trouble in paradise when he fails to see a yellow sign she's pointing at that reads "Salzburg." He grabs her hand in frustration, like jerking it's going to help, but eventually they're on their way. Not the best communication we just saw there. Mark and Michael are reduced to trial and error on the final approach to Schloss Hellbrunn, so the seventh-place team ends up being Kisha and Jen. Jen solo-interviews, "I would have never thought that this would have been the most frustrating experience of my life. It's mentally wearing me down to the point where I can't even listen to her talk without being annoyed." Wow, really? That bad? We bid them farewell for the week with the sight of Jen looking down at the mat with a pained expression while Kisha lets out another giggle. Mark and Michael come in eighth, and are glad just to not be eliminated. I do hope they at least enjoyed their chill time.

That leaves two teams still to arrive, and we can actually see both of their cars pulling in on the driveway at the same time. The Flight Attendants run in first while Steve and Linda are still figuring out where they're supposed to go, and Jodi and Christie reach the mat in ninth place. "You guys are cutting it fine every time," Phil admonishes them. "So I'm not going to be eliminating you on the next leg?" he asks. They tell him no. Next week seems a bit early for a non-elimination leg, but I supposed anything's possible.

Finally Steve and Linda make it to the mat. The greeter greets them with a deep bow. As they stand with their arms around each other, Phil tells them that they have arrived last, and have been eliminated from the race. Steve tries to speak, but instead he breaks down crying, hiding his face behind Linda's neck. "You wanted to be here real bad, didn't you?" Phil obviouses. Steve sobs, "Yessir! Oh, God, I'm so sorry." "You have nothing to be sorry about," Phil tells him, like he thinks Steve is apologizing to him. When Steve resurfaces, he has fresh pie on his face that he picked up from Linda's back, but under the circumstances it's more sad than funny. He says that Linda gave 110%. "It wasn't her. We did this together." In a post-race solo interview, Steve reiterates that he couldn't imagine racing with anyone else. "If anybody in this word has got my back, it's her. When you get down to the root of it, I mean, we're deeply in love." Linda solo-interviews about how fortunate she is to have someone who loves her as much as Steve does. "You could have a billion dollars and still not be happy. Having him makes me happy." Aw. That's good, because I don't think they're ever going to have a billion dollars.

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Amazing Race

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