Amazing Race
You've Just Made Me A Millionaire

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
United, We Fly Standby

In one of the most hilarious moments of the episode, if not the entire season, Christie watches Chip and Kim paddle off and haughtily says, "Chip obviously had a difficult time and is just now leaving. I sure would have loved the Moms to pass them." She then waxes philosophical: "There's a little something called karma, and what goes around comes around. And he will get it." Here, I envision the ox, the ox handler, the Tanzanian taxi driver, Sam the police station guy, Mirna, Charla, and forty-six million fish eggs all standing around shaking their heads, like, "Boy, it's like she gets the concept, but she doesn't know how to apply it to the situation."

Colin continues up the rope. Zoom, zoom, zoom. Even knowing how it's going to end, it's hard to stop rooting for Karen to find one more speck of energy and hold off his obnoxious ass, but it ain't happening. "I can't even hold on, Linda," Karen sniffles as Colin gains on her. And of all the frustrating, difficult things I've ever watched anybody do on this show, I cannot think of anything that would make you feel more helpless and frustrated than not having another drop of gas in the tank and watching this irritating blowhard pass you by while you hang on the rope, having made it up to the last fifty feet of a race everybody would have called you a cinch to lose in the first five legs. I'm not mocking Karen at all; I really, really felt for her here. You can tell she has absolutely used herself up, and I admire that a lot -- it's like athletes say about leaving everything on the field. I think Linda and Karen, as much as anybody, ever, absolutely gave up every molecule of energy they had.

Karen tries to grind out a few more pulls, but it ain't there.

In happier news, Chip and Kim come up to the pit stop. Welcome, you are team number two. They share some compliments, and a smooch. Love!

Colin passes Karen on the rope. "Linda, I'm sorry," Karen says. At the bottom, Linda gives a little exhale as she figures out that, at this point, it's probably over. Colin retrieves his clue and slides down the rope. "I'm so happy!" Christie says. [Vast majority of TARcon crowd: "Booooooo!"] Colin reaches the bottom and is all "Yee-hah!," and, like, shut up. Seriously. Linda shrugs. "Nothing we can do," she says. "We gave 110 percent." I usually hate that expression, but it's kind of true. And one of the great things was that a real swell of applause went up in the party crowd right about here, just trying to get her up the rope, and really wanting her to finish, and not punk out like other "I have bad knees" weenies we could name. Karen indeed works her way up to the clue guy, telling him how tired her arms are. Man, no kidding. "Your kids are gonna be SO PROUD OF YOU!" Linda shrieks, and right there, the shriek? Was love. And you can see right there that Linda snaps herself into the other mode, where she knows they're going to be booted, and she's absolutely determined to keep Karen from suffering any more than is already inevitable, and that is a very generous, very loving thing for a friend to do. It's like the opposite of Flo.

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Amazing Race




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