Amazing Race
You've Just Made Me A Millionaire

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
United, We Fly Standby

The snow blows. Look -- there's Team Guido! (C'mon, I kid because I love.) Colin notes to Christie that Brandon and Nicole are just behind them. Nicole and Christie are both openly struggling with the hike. Nicole and Brandon stop, and Christie wants to take that opportunity to stop herself. Colin? Not so much. My favorite part is where Brandon tells Nicole to "picture Jesus up there, like, he's got his arms wide open, and you're running to him." I'm surprised Nicole didn't hit him, honestly. He's nearby, she's got a pole...I think it's the obvious response. So do the people editing the show, who throw in a little shot of the blue sky and clouds, which has no purpose but to make you chuckle. "Picture that in your mind," Brandon says. I really, really get the sense that she wants to tell him to shut up, but she can't, because he's talking about Jesus. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall of Nicole's less polite impulses, though.

A snarky cut takes us directly to Colin, using a slightly different motivator. "One million dollars," he says. "Okay? It's the last leg. We've got to just go." Christie continues to struggle; Colin continues to tell her to hurry up. She stops. "Oh my GOD!" he yells. (Crowd: "My girlfriend is broken! This is bullshit!") "Christie, they are going to catch up to us! Turn around and look!" And back there are Brandon and Nicole, with him doing a "Blessed is he who trusts in the lord" thing.

Chip and Kim -- now wearing the red, maple leaf-shaped "CANADA" hats that all the teams have apparently been given ["or bought at the gift shop in the Calgary airport" -- Wing Chun] -- are heading for the hike, talking about just wanting to catch up. I like how Chip and Kim are wearing theirs, and Brandon will be seen wearing his, but Colin and Christie would rather die than be seen wearing something that non-extreme. It's a shame, because I'd love to see him lose it while wearing a red, maple leaf-shaped hat. Speaking of catching up, as Colin and Christie wait for her to get her breath, Brandon and Nicole are gaining. We fade out on a shot of Christie adjusting her goggles, wondering whether, in fact, it's her boyfriend that's broken.

Commercials. Hee hee, dogs playing basketball. Awesome.

We return to find Colin chastising Christie for not dying. No, really. "Baby, you're not even, like, dying," he says. Meanwhile, Brandon is loudly praying for help. Brandon comments to Nicole that Christie is clearly struggling. In fact, she's struggling enough that Colin is offering to let her hang on to his poles (not a euphemism) while he pulls her up the hill. They actually wind up doing that, but I maintain that it's inefficient. That always seems to me more like a psychological boost than one that actually saves anyone any work. I suspect that she could have finished that hike herself.

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Amazing Race




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