Amazing Race
You've Just Made Me A Millionaire

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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United, We Fly Standby

Chip and Kim. All alone on their flight from Denver to Dallas. Chip says they're "in shock" over being the only ones to make their flight. Colin, meanwhile, returns to the theme of "show[ing] Chip and Kim [he] can still beat them," and then he says, "It is awwwwwn." (Everyone at my table: "Oooh, it's AWWN!" "It is so very AWWWWN!" "You might think it's AAWWWF, but it's AWWWN!") (I was at a very mature table.) Brandon reads the Bible. On the plane. On the last leg. On a flight from Dallas to Denver. When he checked a bunch of other stuff. He's carrying the Bible with him. All righty. Tense music! So very tense!

Commercials. Survivor Vanuatu sucks. Wait, did I already say that? ["You're still a little drunk, aren't you?" -- Wing Chun]

Dallas! Chip and Kim land at the airport at 1:06 PM and run for a taxi. They get a guy who knows where the stockyards are, and they head out. At 1:16 PM (having made up a little time in the air, apparently), Colin and Christie and Brandon and Nicole land. Both teams run through the airport as Kim, in her cab, says they're not planning to "rest on [their] laurels." With a ten-minute lead? I certainly hope not. Running through the airport, Christie wipes out. And...I totally didn't laugh. At all. It was more of a swallowed chortle. See, there's thing called karma, where...well, you know. Brandon and Nicole get to the taxis first, but they do a little shuffling, while Colin and Christie indeed have a guy in a white Town Car waiting for them when they get there. Weirdly, one of the guys, when asked by Nicole and Brandon, "How fast do you drive?," says "Slow." And that's the taxi driver we will call Mr. Not Desperate For Business.

Colin and Christie and their guy get going, leaving Brandon and Nicole at the airport. Oh, and Colin and Christie's driver is named "Earl," and he gets along with Colin, because they both look like they might eat your brain. "Heh-heh-heh," Earl laughs. Brandon and Nicole finally get a cab, but when they get going and ask their guy to go fast, he says, "This is not a race track; this is a highway." Snerk. Poor abused cab drivers. Colin, on the other hand, notes that Earl "is haulin' butt," and says he thinks they'll catch up to Chip and Kim.

Speaking of whom, Chip and Kim are at the stockyards. This part is kind of complicated, but basically, there's a big maze that you have to run through. You find one box with your name on it, and you pull out a picture. Then you find another box with your name on it, and you pull out a key. The key will open a box back at the entrance, and the box will contain the last clue. Chip and Kim work around the maze, as Colin and Christie speed toward it. "It's in the Lord's hands," Nicole says in her cab.

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Amazing Race

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